A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. we had been together for a year and it started to get really routinaire. i needed time and he wouldn't give me time so we ended it. i started dating this other guy inmediately after we broke up. at first i was happy with the new guy. Now i am bored out of my mind. He is so not what i expected. he's jealous and he's all over me all day. He's clingy and needy and cheesy. he has made a fool of himself in front of my friends, who i consider as close as family. He has given all the wrong impression and he constantly embarrases me. he's a nice guy, i won't lie but i am tired of dealing with someone like that. he acts like a junior high kid and he's 22. two days ago i saw my ex and we started talking and it felt right and good. i know for a fact he still loves me and wants me back. It just felt like old times and i remembered why i fell in love with him on the first place. i miss him so much. But now i am not sure if all these feelings for my ex are genuine or am i just feeling this because i'm getting sick of my current boyfriend? should i get back together with my ex??? he was no price either but i was used to him and we get along way better than my new boyfriend and me. my ex and i, wel...we kind of clicked in a weird disfunctional way. he was always nice to me and he did things for me that noone else would. what do i do ?????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): You should definitely break up with your current boyfriend if you haven't already. If he is the only one into the relationship it needs to end so you can both find people who are right for you. It's not fair to lead him on if you are no longer interested. As for your ex, feel free to take some time to decide. Be single for a little while. Then see if you still miss him. Also, try to remember why you broke up, not just why you were together. If he was really suffocating you, that may not go away. On the other hand, you might feel differently about that relationship after being in your current one. You might miss the things you disliked as much as the things you did like. But seriously, take some time to think it over. Be sure that you are making the right decision. Consider dating someone new. Starting fresh. However, don't think of your ex as a backup plan. He may still love you, but be careful not to string him along giving him hope that he will be able to get back with you if you decide to date someone else.
I hope this helps. Good luck with everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice. the new guy just text me saying that he felt he was losing me and that if i wanted to break up that i should tell him over the phone cause he couldn't deal with it face to face. he's giving me the chance so i think i'll break up with him. And well after giving it a lot of thought i'm giving my relationship with my ex another shot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i probably should be single for a while. But how do i break up with this guy??? and more importantly... how do i deal with these feelings for my ex??? he made really clear that he is not over me and that he wants me back. and to be quite honest i wouldn't mind taking him back. But at the same time i know that the fact that i miss him doesn't mean i have to get back together with him. That we had issues that were never resolved and despite the fact that i love him and miss him those issues are still there, and they were the reason we broke up in the first place. I broke up with him without giving it much thought since i was infatuated with this other guy. so is it worth saving that relationship with my ex and give it a try or should i stay alone for a while?? probably i should stay alone, but i don't want to regret later on the fact that i didn't give it another shot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): To be honest i think you should just be single for a while. You keep running back and forth between these guys and it doesn't seem like you know what you want. You say your ex was no prize either so why go back to him?
There's nothing wrong with being single and you shouldn't just go back to your ex because you want a boyfriend. You sound rather fickle.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 You go back to your boyfriend. EVERY relationship, after time, develops a routine. Think about your family. Think about your parents. Couples fall into routines. They have children. Then the children need that routine. It is natural.
What was happening with your old boyfriend was that he was starting to become like family. This is what happens. And it isn't bad. If you don't like that feeling of going further in a relationship, knowing and loving each other beyond the first finding out stage, then you will always have dysfunctional relationships - you will start something, but then leave it when it starts to mature, and flit on to something else. It will always be empty and you might even end up with a lot of regrets and no family.
Seriously, I think you should go back to your ex. He is wiser than you: he knows what you had.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (13 November 2010):
You "needed time," and couldn't get it, so you ended it.
Now the new guy is "clingy" and "needy" so you want to end it.
Both were "nice," but you couldn't be happy with either long-term.
The problem is, you've got player love. It's very common in young girls. That's when you'll stay with and possibly end up with the guy who ignores you, shows up late, doesn't call, maybe cheats on you, etc., and leave behind a string of broken hearts of "nice" guys who want nothing more than to buy you flowers and massage your feet.
Why don't you just try telling the guy how you want him to act? Give him some advice he can use. Even if he reacts negatively to it, I'll bet someday he'll take it to heart. Tell him not to be clingy, needy, etc. It won't change who he is inside (which apparently is a nice guy), but it will clue him into the idea that "nice" (which can often come across as clingy) is not always what a girl is looking for.
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