A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have been going through a very difficult phase with many external factors, with work, business, finacial situations to mention a few, and with all of this stress, there has been alot of strain on our relationship and we have grown apart as my partner has a short temper that adds stress on us.he has come to the point where he is feeling really low and sorry for himself and the harder i try to help him the more agitated he gets.. so if i give him his space he complains I am not there.. If I am there for him, he gets irritated and cold towards me.I have suggested we go on a first date again, even though we have been dating for just over a year.We have lost our spark and our butterflies when all of this stress came about (about a month ago) and another factor that adds to this is that I found an old picture of another guy on his phone from June and I confronted him, and now he says that the trust has been broken between us, that I accused him of cheating and that I must not point fingers because 3are pointing back at me! (I have never cheated, never have, never will) so he feels insecure, which I dont understand as I was the one that found the picture.. he says it was nothing!I want us to have our spark back and that excitement that we had and the butterflies when we were together, what ideas or suggestions are there to come up for us to have a fun day of adventure or just in general bring back the spark and happiness we once had so much of?Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): the initial butterflies stage rarely lasts. This next stage tests your commitment to love, trust, enjoy and weather the storms that may come. Start listing every issue. What assets do you have? Is there anything you can sell to realise some $ and pay off debt. What budget are you following? Could you trim off some expenditure? Could you both take on an extra job to reduce debt in the short term to take the pressure off? Go through this process with every issue. The issue is how skillfully, and with love, caring, understanding and empathy you two are able this storm. This is a test of character. you are more likely to see the ugly stressed side of a person under pressure. Things hudden from you in the honeymoon stage. How skillfully you do, or do not, work out solutions together will affect your relationship.
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