A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been knowing this guy for 17 plus years and all we do is have sex argue and then be ask for money. well we lost touch for a couple of years because he went to jail. i took it upon myself to contact him while he was in jail. i even started going to see him. well he came home and we kicked it for a bit.at the time i already had a child that was 12 and i was not ready for more kids. plus i had a female procedure done and the docs said I couldnt have any more kids. well we hooked up again and two months later i found out i was pregnant. when i told him at first he was okay then he turned into this hateful person. i thought about an abortion but if i had one it would be just to please someone else. well needless to say i had my son and he is two and a half. his dad didnt want anything to do with him at first and that really bothered me. so i pushed and pushed for him to be there. he was there for about two months and stop seeing his son.eveytime i call him he is so rude and nasty. my question is what should i do? my son wants to talk to him he talks about him alot but his dad dosent want to be botherd. he has 5 other children he talks and sees them but wont see my baby. it is very hurtful and i cry alot wondering how should I handle this. please help i feel so lost and confused. all he thinks about is women cars and running the streets. i try not to think about it because all i do is cry. but it is so hard to believe my son is being treated wromg.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2015):
 get an attorney and file for child support. Hook your son up with the Big Brothers so he has a positive male influence in his life and write the sperm donor off as a loss.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2015): All he owes his son is child-support. Maybe somewhere down the line his conscience will hit him, and he'll decide he wants to be a part of his son's life.
My question is: is it his son you want him to see, or you?
He's an irresponsible jailbird; and if he isn't interested in your son; so be it. He doesn't have to be, and you're the one who dragged him from jail back into your life; when you should have left that loser where he was.
I really don't think this is about his son at all. It's about you, and the fact he doesn't care about either of you. A check for the child's needs maintains his indirect involvement in bringing up his son. This will continue until the child is at least eighteen. There is a lifetime for him to catch up, if he ever decides to. He's no prize and perhaps his absence is actually a blessing in disguise; because he's no role-model for a boy. He has five other kids, and he can't afford another one. He thought you couldn't get pregnant. You should have used condoms to avoid STD's; even if you couldn't get pregnant. He gets around and could pick-up herpes or HIV! No telling what he did in prison!
Go find yourself a good man and detach your feelings from that street-running trifling ex-convict. Stop using his son as an excuse and stop upsetting the child with your dramatizing. You're a strong enough woman to raise a 12 year-old on her own, now you have two. The other child doesn't need to be exposed to ex-convicts. Raise your standards, my dear.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (24 February 2015):
Stop contacting this loser and make sure you file for child support.
He didn't want a baby and you can't make him want one. He doesn't want you, either. You must move on for the sake of your child. Your child is better off without this angry, arrogant, heartless, worthless CRIMINAL in his life.
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A
male
reader, dayvide  +, writes (24 February 2015):
 I think you just need to push harder for him to be there but you can't force him.. He probay might not like the idea of having more kids before you had yours. He sees you and the child as unnecessary burden so the need to reduce attachment. You just have to keep reaching out to him for the sake of your child.. But if he still draws back then just let him be and move on. He's not worth your tears because the guy you crying about doesn't even give a hoot about you and the baby.. You have to be strong and move on without him if he still doesn't want the child.... All the best
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