A
female
age
30-35,
*bbieJo
writes:Ok so a while ago, my boyfriend started renting a room from a couple (a husband and wife) who were also living at the same property. Everything was fine at first, however things quickly started to go wrong. The couple own the property, the husband goes out to work all day while the wife stays at home and looks after their babies, however, the wife started to become really needy and was constantly asking my boyfriend to help her with jobs around the house, look after her babies, help her cook etc. It got to the point where every time I came to visit my boyfriend, I was left on my own in his room most of the time as she would constantly be knocking on his door asking for help and he would go running to her assistance. She would also make comments to me like "Oh you have a very good man, my husband never helps me like this" Both my boyfriend and this woman and her husband are from an Asian background so they talk amongst themselves in their own language most of the time so again I was left out of their conversations as I do not understand their language. It also got to the stage where everytime I phoned him, she would just come over to him and start talking to him (in their own language) interupting our telephone conversation or she would knock on his door and ask him to look after her babies so we would have to end our conversation as he could not hear me on the other end of the phone due to her babies crying and screaming. She even ruined mine and my boyfriend's plans to go out for a romantic dinner by saying she was hungry and too ill to make her own food and her husband was at work so we ended up staying in and having a takeaway so that she could eat with us. It just seemed that everthing I wanted to do with my boyfriend, her nose was in our business and that we had to centre our relationship around her. It was like having a 3rd person in the relationship that just wouldn't get out of my face. This started to cause many arguments between me and my fiance which the woman seemed to be really pleased about and she began to disturb our relationship more and more as she knew it was making me angry.To cut a long story short, I ended up having a massive argument with the woman on the telephone and I told her to get her face out of my life and my relationship and to stop disturbing my boyfriend because he is not her babies dad or her husband and that she has her own husband. However it didn't stop her from trying to ruin my relationship as she then began to try to get closer to my boyfriend and I noticed she started to take more care of her appearance and tried to dress like me and even tried to colour her hair the same as mine. She then started to tell my boyfriend that I am not a good woman, that he should find another woman and that she knows of a girl who would like to meet him. My boyfriend declined and told her he loves only me and it's me who he wants to be with.Shortly afterwards, the couple moved out of the property so I thought that would be an end to everything but I found out that she had being phoning my boyfriend every day either to ask him for help or to cause an argument. She also started giving me prank phone calls and I threatened to report her to the police so she stopped phoning me and then changed her number, however, she then got a new number and started phoning my fiance again from her new number so I sent her a text saying that I had her new number and I was going to report her for harassment. She has not phoned me or my fiance since, however she is writing pathetic comments on facebook and myspace about how jealous we are of her. I do know that my boyfriend is also just as much to blame in this as he should never have left me on my own and gone to help her, he should have told her he can't help her because he's with me. We argued about this for months until he finally apolgised and said he was wrong and he should never have done what he did and that it's his fault but he felt sorry for the woman as she was always on her own in the house and had to look after the babies on her own and he felt powerless as he was living in her house.I feel that the woman was very jealous, either because she wants my boyfriend for herslef or because of our relationship as I know her husband has cheated on her in the past (including with her own cousin) and that they only married eachother for the sake of the babies so it was never a love realtionship. I don't think she could stand the fact that me and my boyfriend were so happy and wishes she could have the same happiness. A friend of my boyfriend as heard her say that she is happy that we argue and will make us argue again. I would like other people's thoughts on this or if anyone has had a similar experience and how you dealt with the situation.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): There is more to the story if your boyfriend is still talking to this woman on a regular basis and allowing this drama to continue. There's no reason he should be involved with her now they are not living under one roof. He probably doesn't want to be with her but something happened or else he'd have no problem cutting ties and moving on.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 I dont have a similar story but I can tell you that she was jealous and insecure and yes, your BF is equally to be blamed. If he had drawn the boundaries, she would never have had the audacity to behave the way she did.
This woman probably saw in your boyfriend a reflection of what she wanted in her own relationship. He, on the other hand, liked the attention from her and that's why it carried on for so long.
People who are not happy in their own lives seldom like seeing others happy. They feel more along the lines of, if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone with me. It also gave her a sense of power over YOU, when she saw that she was responsible for the rift in your relationship with your BF. She obviously knew she was nothing compared to you, yet here she was, now posing a threat to you! What a high for her!
Anyway, what's done is done. Dont discuss her and give her any more importance because she doesnt deserve even a bit of it, and she's got a LOT of it from you guys! Of course it would make her happy to see you fighting over her...look at the sad life that she has!! This has got to be the highlight of it!!
Focus on what you have instead. Your BF realizes his mistake and I'm sure something like this wont happen again. Just let this thing die down. Dont let it come between your relationship, that's exactly what she would want.
All the best!
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