A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupiders, I really need help on this one.My neighbor who became a little sister to me is only fithteen and in Febuary her father past away. Now before this she was a sweet spoiled little girl, and she was very misunderstood. Her father did a lot of perscription drugs and her mother I really have no idea but imagine its something close to that. When they would fight I would bring her over to my house and this is how we became close. I am a big sister to her and she looks to me for everything except lately since her fathers passing she's become distant, the morning she found out, she called me and of course I came, I was with her through the viewing and the funeral, but she only cried these three days. Now she's turned to smoking weed and drinking very often, at first she just smoked every now and then and I could really say anything because I smoked at her age, but I did try to tell her how important it was that she didnt let this become an every day thing. Now that I know shes lost her virginity I dont know what to say, I havent spoken to her since. Her mother is absolutly no help as she is shacked up with some twenty year old drunk every night. This is why she doesnt disapprove of her daughter being out all the time. Everyone in my neighborhood and even a few of her friends have told me it has to be to talk to her, and I always knew that but how do I tell her that this isnt the reaction to her fathers passing she should have, and that she wouldnt be like this if he was alive, he may have had his faults but ive never seen a man love a child like he did.How do I talk to her, without being insensitive to her and without myself becoming upset because i love this girl and to me she is my sister but I dont know how to have this conversation. How should I do this?And thanks again.
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female
reader, nathanielbaby_13  +, writes (3 August 2010):
Ok when I was young my father past away. And granted i thought of doing those things but i didn't. Just sit her explain to her that this is not the road to take after a passing of a family membe and then tell her what you did and how you learned from your mistakes and also explain that if her mother want disapprove or approve tell her you will. Then if you want to you can explain that he is in a better place and is watching her and if she is going to act like that ak her "what would your faher think if he where here right now watching you."
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