A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been "friends" with this guy for about 6 months. He told me right off the bat that he didn't want a relationship, but wanted a deep and intimate friendship. We have slept together but he has emphasized that to him that is just the icing on the cake, most of the time he just wants to cuddle. He treats me like his girlfriend when we're together but spending time together always seems to be on his terms. He hardly answers when I call but gets sort of upset if I don't answer or have other plans. He makes little comments about me and him falling in love but then he'll say I'm not his girlfriend cause that would change our relationship for the worst. I told him a few months back that I couldn't continue seeing him cause my feelings were too strong for him. He said he didn't want to hurt me but continued on like I never said anything. I've have the absolute best time ever every time we're together and am totally smitten. This is the oddest "friendship" I've ever had and I just don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MorniiingGloryy  +, writes (30 January 2009):
I totally understand where you're coming from, i myself had a 'friendship' like this.Now, lets just say, after the sexual stuff stopped, he came out and said ''I dont actually like you as anything, not even a friend, i just wanted you for sex. So stop talking to me, i have 3 perfectly good girlfriends, and dont need another'' i was shocked, but yes, it does sound like he's playing you. Especially with the whole ''Maybe inlove'' thing. Just sayin it to keep you hangin.Goodluck love, remember, you deserve a guy who is proud to call you his :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should have been a little more clear when I said we have slept together....only a few of times since September. He has told me that the sexual tension between us is very exciting, sometimes unbearable, but wants a deeper connection than just sex. I do not feel like an object to him...I've been in situations like that before and this feels completely different. I'm perplexed.
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A
male
reader, andrew loves hali +, writes (24 January 2009):
 i think he likes you but just cant admit it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Ask him if he is sleeping with other people, and tell him what you need to be true to continue with him.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 January 2009):
 Well you are not going to want to hear this, but he is playing you like... well actually, like only desperate women can be played.
Come on, read your own post. It is a CLASSIC example of how to play a woman. Say honestly that you don't want a relationship, that way she can't make any claims you ever promised her anything more, but then make her constantly think that maybe there is something more after all.
That way you get all the perks, a sex toy at your beg and call but none of the hassle like commitment or ever even just having to be there for her.
To him: Excellent play, near perfect score but sadly you seemed to have screwed up near the end as she has started to question you.
To her: Get a clue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Don't put yourself through this, tell him straight now that you are not going to be used for sex, and you're not going to be strung along for his benefit.
But, if the sex is good, make it on your terms! Make him come after you!
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