A
male
age
41-50,
*oe_d
writes:Hi there, I fell in love with a woman over a period of time. Nothing physical happened. I've known her for a while. Anyway, It was her birthday few weeks ago, and I had a special night planned for us. She calls me and says her "b/f" is coming down for that weekend. That was a first I heard of her having a man. I haven't been in touch with her since then. She sent me a text yesterday, monday, saying: Are u alrite? I have not heard from u. She once told me That I'm her bestest male friend ever and that I'm the best thing her life and also, her child's life. This is only the second serious relationship I've "been" in. My first girlfriend died ten years ago.I don't know what to do. Help!
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 Did she know how you feel about her? I ask that because you call it a relationship, but did she consider herself in a relationship with you?
"bestest male friend ever" sounds like you are simply friends,and being she and you have done nothing physical...I guess I need more info as to what you think she considered your relationship to be. Does she know you love her in a more than platonic way?
A
male
reader, wyte529 +, writes (22 July 2009):
Well you say that this is the second serious relationship that you have been in, but i can't understand how you guys were in a serious relationship, if she already had a b/f? and you say that you have known her for a while, but you never once knew about her having a b/f? So nothing physical happened, as in you were never sexual with her? Do you guys ever kiss, hold hands, go out on dates, etc....? You didn't give a lot of info, but you say it was a serious relationship, but from you saying that it was never physical, and her saying that you are the best male friend ever, it seems to me that she really cherishes you as a friend. How far does this b/f live? you say he came down for her b-day
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A
female
reader, scarredkitty  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 Well, did you ever ask her if she had a bf before you started getting serious with her? Did she know how you felt?
Don't get me wrong, it's sounds pretty bad from your point of view, but in my opinion, I think you just kinda jumped the guns and went straight into the reationship without ever really telling her. It's very important to have comunicaion starting a relationship, and if she did know how you felt and did this willingly and all, then she probably felt like she wanted someone to be there with you guys. she's probably nervous or uncomfortable about something that happened recently or in the last few months. talk it out with her and find out what's up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): If I were you, I will stop having the thought of being together with her.
She in a relationship. If she can leave her bf to be with you, can you be sure she won't do the same thing to you? Can you be sure you won't doubt her when you have problem with her in the future?
I don't know how you two progressed but could it be she treat you just friend?
And to be a third person in a relationship, it is always not a right thing to do. How would you feel if the same thing happen to you?
Good luck.
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