A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't even know where to begin this one. I met this wonderful girl when I went to study abroad in Japan during last summer. When I met her, everything in my life seemed to make sense, and everything that comes after her seems like nothing. We were together for a month in Japan and we had to come back to the US for college. I go to Hawaii. She goes to NYU. Distance is at least 4500 miles away. For her, I can do anything whether it be flighting over there in a minute( I'm not rich by the way, I can only do so often, prob. like 2 times). She's 18 and I'm 20. I know it sounds stupid but I really do love her and see her in my future. We talk about it all the time, or at least we used to. Everything was fine until she had to go back to school this spring semester. For some reason, she can't seem to fit in with other ppl and she's only a freshman, so she's trying very hard to make friends, and I support her in that. But before she concentrated everything on making friends, we used to talk like 1-2 hrs a day, txt each other here and there, and stuff like that.. But now, she seems to busy to even txt me until like right before she goes to sleep. Whenever she had trouble, I would always be there for her, trying to help her out in any way I can. Some kids over there are also being mean to her and talking crap behind her back. I can't do anything over here, and I would like to kick some of the guys asses over there as well. But now it seems like she made some stable friends. I'm not too sure on this because we haven't talked as much as we used to. I know I'm feeling like I'm growing apart from her but I don't want to.Oh, and before this, we broke up like 3 times in one week, 3 weeks ago. It was a very emotional week for us and I'm not really sure what happened. I think it was mainly because our lack of communication. She tells me she loves me but she also wants to make friends as well. I really do want her to make friends but why do I feel so empty? I know she's not giving me much attention as she used to but I shouldn't be so down about that right? I mean, a little gesture here and there would be great to see or know how she's doing. She's the one who always calls me because whenever I do call her, she's practically busy doing club meetings or whatnot. So I'm always the one, hanging on a limb, waiting for her txts and stuff. Sometimes, I feel like it's over and that I should move on, yet I can't. One day, I think "Damn, I'm over her already" and try to go for other girls, but whenever I come back home, I only think about her. She wants me to come visit her during spring break but I can't really tell if she cares for me anymore. I don't wanna bring this up on her because if I do, it might give her more things to worry about and I don't want to to do that to her. I'm practically going crazy over this. I'm planning to move where she is after I'm done with college and it's only a year from now. I'm sorry for such a long story but I need help somehow. I really do love her, and I can tell she's confused by her new college life. Not being able to make friends and ppl talking crap about you does make life a lot harder than it originally is. She doesn't drink or anything like that because she has very high morals based on those kind of things. I have been cheated once, so sometimes I think there's another guy involved. Like I said before, maybe I'm just insecure of what happened to me (being cheated), and thinking that it's happening to me again. I guess my main question would be, what should I do? I don't want to leave her, cause I know that I'll do anything for her. I know that she loves me, but I don't think, at least right now, she cares about me cause she has other things to worry about. Am I being just a little greedy for attention? Should I give her space and time? What should I do?I'm sorry that its so long, but i needed to turn somewhere. This is my first LDR and after this, I am never going to do it again. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): you are both young especially her, you need to understand that she may not be ready for this. i think it wuld be in your best intrest to let her go. when she has settled in and matured some maybe you guys could get back together. i went through a time of ldr with my current boyfriend and it was bad thankfully we got through it but very few couples can do that successfully and ours was almost ruined by my immaturity. i think i can understand where she is and i dont think it is fair for her or you. you desreve the attention and you deserve someone who will give you that attention your right the ldr thing shouldnt be done and i think you should move on becasue it will only get worse untill you both grow up, not to mention be in the same place. i think you know what needs to happen and i can tell you you will feel much better if you can find the person who will love you AND show you the love and attention you deserve and you can return these things to. i hope it works out and let me know how it goes.
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