A
female
age
36-40,
*oseGoddess23
writes:Either I'm a fool, or I'm just worrying too much. There is this man *who is now my bestfriend* that I've been dating for almost 2 years now. I've been there for him even during his hardest of times. But at the beginning we were just "casual sex" friends. Within 2 months I told him I liked him and he rejected my feelings, so I backed off. We still spent time together. But then it got to the point where he wanted to spend more time together. After my surgury last year he was there for me. He even asked if I would be his next girlfriend because he hasn't beem in a relationship in months. After his house burned down I was quickly there for him. That is when he started becoming more emotional and romantic towards me. By this time I knew I loved him but didn't want to say anything. He would tell everyone I'm his girl AND bestfriend. I finally told him I loved him *especially after his family and friends kept telling me how if he was to be with anyone, it would be me. When I told him how I felt, he even told me he loved me as well last month! But... like I said, this is going on 2 years now and it's starting to hurt. We aren't together even though we do still have sex. He has a little daughter I adore so much. She has started calling me Momma and he's not teaching her otherwise. He brings me around her more often now too. My issue...is that I know he's sleeping with other people..and in front of certain female friends I'm just "a friend" all of a sudden. But in front of others I'm either his girl or bestfriend. Not to mention I help him financially. Instead of paying me back, I remember him saying he was getting me this beautiful necklace for me for Christmas...so I told him if he gives me that necklace then I'll accept that as payment. Well, here it is February and there has been no mention of the necklace at all, just *I'll pay you back when I get this* or *I'll pay you back when I get that*. He has a really nice house now.. that I helped him get. Currently he's trying to get me a car *has no car*. Am I just a fool??? He's single...so I can't penalize him for sleeping with others..but I feel like I've been placed on hold indefinetly... I'm letting him do his thing but I'm afraid he doesn't really want to be with me..
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female
reader, RoseGoddess23 +, writes (8 February 2009):
RoseGoddess23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's very iffy about bringing people around his little girl. I didn't start hanging around her until maybe 4 months ago. Just now it's more often. Also I admit that the financial part might be a bit foolish but I've always been kind hearted..just never to THAT level. I guess a true heart to heart is needed afterall? Ironically the next time I see him is V-Day *nervous laugh*
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (8 February 2009):
 I'll have to admit that I'm confused myself... you seem like you've been there for each other for various desperate moments in each other's lives, but it seems like with all the time you have spent with each other, you haven't managed to find that solid straight-forward communications channel where you can openly speak to each other about how you feel.
It may seem simple, but have you tried to have that deep heart-to-heart conversation? In this instance, it really seems that this is REALLY needed right now.
You've also stacked financial issues between you two. Having such a loose relationship with him and yet being his bank has added to the mix where it would have best been left out. If you really want to clear the air, the best thing to do is simply ask where he stands.
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