A
female
age
41-50,
*anniepeg
writes:I am asking a question on behalf on my friend, who is 45.I am a guy in a 1 year 2 month relationship with a woman with 2 kids 15 and 18.My GF is 42 yo.We are in love and have talked about getting married and having a child although recently she shared that she wont be able to have child after being tested.We have travelled together and get along most of the time but did have a big disagreement in vegas which required separate cabs back to the hotel.Two months ago we agreed to start living together 5 days a week with me staying at her home as she has the kids.I have a house and she has one too.First part of my question is why does she not trust me when i go to my own home?She says that she is aware that it is her issue and has talked about seeing some one to work through her issues over this, but has yet to go and will use guilt to keep me at her home but I do need to go home to care for the house.She doesnt like my home and has said so by telling me its not safe and the house is small or old.The second part of my question is how long is acceptable to not speak to me when we have a disagreement.Yesterday eve we were watching a movie and in the middle of it she began having a conversation with her 18 yo.I asked her to quiet down as she is a loud talker and couldn't hear the dialague, this upset her and she loudly said that she is talking to her son!I said to talk to him in another room as the movie can't be paused or stopped.She then finished her talk with him and pouted then got up and went to the bedroom and 24 hrs later she still isnt speaking to me.When i climbed in to bed last night she kicked me very hard in the thigh but didnt say a word.This morning when i left for the office I kissed her on the forhead and told her that I love her, she was awake watching tv but didn't look at me or reply.No texts or calls from her either.As for me I have not ever dealt with this type of behavior in my whole life so am at my wits end wondering what to do.I am staying at her home tonight but don't feel comfortable here tonight.What to do ? ie break up. I have had long term relationships that lasted 7 yrs but havent been married, this is my 4th long term relationship and want it to work and don't want another failed relationship. Your advice is appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): I'm afraid your relationship has run it's course. She is having second thoughts and may be doing what she can to slowly let you go. She enjoyed having the attention from a younger guy. She appreciated the fact you were willing to sacrifice having a family, but knows it really isn't fair.She is still raising her children, and this relationship is a little controversial by the age differences. The kids don't see you as their father, so you have no rights in their home.She is also controlling. She has no authority in your house. You are outnumbered in hers.Chalk it up to a pleasant experience and move on. You're not dealing with only this woman, but her two kids. After you're confrontation with the 18 year-old, you're as good as out, and she'll make it happen.The kicking and ignoring is nonsense. Let her go. Age doesn't matter,unless you want children of your own. The poor behavior you describe in your post sounds a bit immature for a 45 year-old woman. If she doesn't like your house, too bad! She lacks manners as well.No matter who you're with, they should act their age and be good to you.Put her in the "friend-zone" and start dating other women.Leave her with her dignity in tact. Be kind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): Only because you are afraid to fail again, to keep a crazy relationship like this is a very bad idea.Unless you want to put lots of work into this relationship, then stay. The facts are: she probably won't change, she is being unreasonable in not liking you going to your own house, she is being unreasonable in kicking you and not talking to you. And this is what you will be dealing with. She will never give you children, as at this age it's kind of silly to even expect a woman being able to get pregnant. It happens, but mostly not likely. So ,it really up to you to weigh how much effort you want to put into this relationship, or just move on and find someone more suitable for you
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