| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a therapist for over a year now and I have fancied her for most of that time. I know that it is normal to gain some kind of attachment or interest in them due to the intimacy of the relationship. However this love is probably the deepest I've known and I have in a roundabout way told her how I feel. She says that the relationship is professionally boundaried despite any love there. Should I just stop seeing her professionally and risk not speaking/seeing her again or should I carry on at the risk of more heartbreak? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): Dear female reader,
It's very natural to feel this deep emotional connection to your therapist, particularly if she is psycho-dynamic therapist. I have been in therapy now for about 8 months and I was astounded when I felt the same thing for him. What is not to love? They are attentive, supportive, non-judgemental and if they do their job correctly, they are warm. They are doing everything to help you develop a sense of self without any fear of keeping them interested - therefore engaging in some self-sacrificing behaviour to please them.
Telling your therapist how you feel was a good thing to do. It often helps the process of therapy immensely. I recently told mine and was hugely relieved when he didn't run screaming from the room, but explored these emotions with me and helped me to understand the basis of them.
It is up to your therapist to handle these emotions.
The question for you is, what do you want from her? To push through these emotions to the deeper basis and continue in your therapeutic relationship, or do you want a sexual relationship, which you know is unavailable to you?
I hope this helps.
A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (13 August 2005):
 As you mention, your experience of developing love or romantic feelings for your therapist is a fairly common on in the client-therapist relationship, and usually (if the therapist is adhering to ethical guidelines) doesn't progress beyond one-sided feelings.
You say you've mentioned your feelings in a roundabout way during the sessions; I'd suggest you bring it out in the open, and state flat-out what you're going through. You'll either wind up working through it and getting to the other side of the feeling so that you and your therapist can continue your work together, or you'll figure out that you can't and she can help you find a new therapist.
Good luck to you.
...............................
|
