A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this no strings attached sexual relationship with this guy for over a year. He's the one who said he wasn't ready for a committed relationship, and now we see each other very infrequently, and have sex at his place. I started to fall for him and realize I may have to ditch him and move on to someone else. The problem I have is this: the last few times I've seen him, he asks me questions like "Was I the last person you slept with? Are you still on birth control? (this shouldn't matter to him bc we always use condoms), and even told me that he was offended when I told him recently I couldn't remember if me and him had sex on the first date.If he doesn't care about being with me, why would he care about who I last slept with, my choice of birth control, my memory of us, etc.??? All his actions tell me he doesn't care, but his communication with me confuses the heck out of me. Is this a game he's playing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to some of your answers, I have tried to talk to him in the past about my feelings, but didn't get very far. I believe that it's me who wants something more, but him, I'm not so sure. He still has his personal ad on match.com, whereas I took mine off long ago. When I confronted him about this months ago, he swore he was going to take his ad down. He never did. He may not be seeing anyone else, but then again, I can't be positive. It's more of his emotionally loaded questions into my life that makes me wonder if he cares more than he lets on.
The reason I think it's more about sex for him, is that we rarely talk over the phone and usually correspond via email. If we do talk it's short and sweet. We never talk about our feelings and I think it's very awkward for both of us. We don't go anywhere either. It's always hanging out and having sex at his place. It's so weird for me too, after we have sex, I feel like I'm not entirely welcome to stay with him. I can't really explain that, except for the fact that he does usually say how "tired" he is.
I don't know if it's because he's inexperienced, but there's a part of me that thinks he never had a serious relationship with a girl and is anxious about it. He did tell me a long time ago that he can't handle just a sexual relationship, but now it seems he is fine with that. I don't know how he so drastically changed his mind.
A
female
reader, UsuallyConfused  +, writes (29 May 2007):
Just sex relationships can't stay just sex forever trust me! It looks like you guys are both falling.. time for a talk I think. are you sleeping with other people? If you aren't then you probably do have feelings for him, and that's why he asked you the same thing... Go for it! Life's too short to take the love out of relationships!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): Just remember the saying "Actions speak louder than words". I truly believe it when it comes to guys!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): You had sex for a year. Did you actually think that you would not develop feeling for each other??? Aw come on!!!There is a price to pay for sex and looks like to me you've developed feeling for each other!!
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A
female
reader, laurie-loo  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 have you ever actualy thought about your own feelings for this guy? it seems to me that you may both actually have feelings for each other so maybe is it worth talking over and discussing how you really feel? but on the other hand this may jepordise what you have if you have this man all wrong and hes only asking things like this as he feels sort of attached to you as hes been having sex with you, but doesnt want to be with you. he may not want a relationship with you, but not want anyone else to have you either. but if your sure this man has fell for you i would advise you to think about how you feel for him, if you want to be with him tell him, things may work out. but if you dont feel the same call it off now. even though it was a rule it was "no strings attached" if he does feel something more for you than just wanting sex then i suggest you should call things off now as the more you sleep with him the more attached to you he is going to get. good luck hope everything works out ! xxx
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (29 May 2007):
 It sounds like you're both falling for each other. If he's falling for you, and you're falling for him, maybe it's time for a change of pace.
DV1
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