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female
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anonymous
writes: OK... now, this might get a bit graphic (and gross!), sorry. But, I really want to know if this is common with men. I'm 24 and by boy friend is 25. We are in a relationship for the last one year. We are going to be married soon (in a month or so). We don't have sex very often... we make out once a week. I have noticed that my bf starts to fondle and finger me long after we finish having sex and when I'm fast asleep!! Is that normal??? When he does that, I obviously wake up and we have sex all over again... I don't particularly like or dislike this... but, don't you think it's a bit wierd?? Do other men also do this?? Oh, btw, it's not like he thinks I'm awake or something... he knows I'm sleeping... infact, sometimes, this is his style of a wake up call!! Should I be bothered? Does this say something about him? Is he insensitive to be doing to to me?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2006): girl you're lucky. dont wonder about it. lol. that something very nice. enjoy it while you can. sex kind of fades and you dont get much foreplay at all when the years go by. lol..i hope this helps
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (21 April 2006):
 This is quite a nice way to wake up actually, and yes it has happened to me as well. So you are perfectly normal and so is he!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): :-D
Looks like it's not so wierd after all!!
Like I said, I didn't really like or dislike this. I just wasn't sure if he could be doing this to me. I never spoke to him about this. Now, when I think of it, it is really quite flattering. :-)
Thanks guys for sharing your opinions with me. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): Every serious boyfriend I've ever had has woken me up in the middle of the night to fool around. I'm a light sleeper, so I usually wake up before they get too involved in the fingering, but yeah - it sounds exactly like your deal. We hook up and drift off to sleep ... then an hour, 2 hrs later, consistently, with every single one of them, they'd wake up and sort of just start making out with me - kissing the back of my neck, fondling, etc.
It never occurred to me to think it was weird. But then, they were always pleased when I woke up - it wasn't like they were being secretive, trying to do things to me in my sleep without me catching them. The latter would have been a little creepy. The former was at best kind of fun and at worst, minorly annoying if I was just exhausted and didn't want to wake up.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (21 April 2006):
 I used to give my ex wet dreams by doing something similar. Even stroking her neck and face aroused her, both of which could reasonably be considered non-sexual expressions of affection. As I understand it from my past and from talking to female friends its not exactly uncommen for this to happen.
The bottom line is that if you dont like it you or it makes you feel uncomfortable then talk to him and tell him. If he goes on to ignore your feelings on this matter then yes, he is insenstive. At the moment he probably feels there is nothing wrong and if you dont talk to him about it you are not giving him a chance to be either insensitive or sensitive. Hope that help,take care.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (21 April 2006):
 Have you TOLD him you like it/don't like it.
Maybe he thinks it's cool - whereas if it isn't tell him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): ++Should I be bothered? Does this say something about him? Is he insensitive to be doing to to me??++
Seems like you just answered your own questions already.
Sometimes when my ex was asleep, I would tactfully finger her. She would get extremely wet and moan occasionally while still sleeping. Then I'll gently kiss her lips, face, and neck, and brush her hair with my hand. There was one time she woke up half asleep and we started making out and made love afterwards. Other times, I would just get her super aroused then stop, and in the morning, she would make a comment like, "Why am I so wet?"
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