A
male
age
30-35,
*ilo117
writes:This is going to ruin my realtionshipDear cupid let me start things on a happy note for once i have a girlfreind that i love dearly and would do anyhting for she is my world my moon and my stars.ive only ever had one relationship other to her this was from when i was 12 to 14 with a girl who we shall call Anne. Anne was three years older than and a hell of a lot smarter than me thoughout our entire realtionship she manipulated and controled me to the point were i woulnt do anything without her permission.I was at a very low point in my life, struggelling with a deep depression and the breaking up of my family;easy pickings for Anne to exploit.As out relationship progressed she began to pressure me to be more and more sexual with her wich at the time i was nowere near ready for. She would become extreamly angry and fustrated with em make it out that i was hurting her and did not lover her by refuseing to do these things that i didnt know what they were let alone how to do them.So after a year together and me finaly starting to break free from her mental grip she tried to take my virginity on several occasions not by force buy getting me drunk.All this abuse has had a lasting affect on me and that sad thing is ai still love Anne and always will but now know that she is abad for me and have no contact with her whatsoever. This is affecting my relationship with my current girlfreind i trust her with this and have told her about what happend.She imidanly started to cry and just left up from her chair and hugged me and told me "Noone will ever ever treat you like that again if i ever see this girl ill rip out her througt"She didnt sound angry at all and i just couldnt help but cry too. But this is still affecting me and i need to get this out of my mind so i can have peace this was years ago im alot older smarter and stronger that i have ever been i just need to be able to beat this so i can finaly feel like ive grown up and become a man.Any advice would be most loveingly recived Milo
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Milo117 +, writes (8 March 2011):
Milo117 is verified as being by the original poster of the question This is going from bad to worse today i got a phone call from "Annes" little sister who was my close freind bt i realy dont talk much to her anymore as it brings me closer to Anne. We had a long conversation about her what you said about her being helped into becomeing the way she is came into my head and i asked her sister about Anne and how she treats her boyfreinds. Turns out Anne likes to make people suffer it makes me feel good and her family have broken almost all contact with her. The reason Annes sister called me is because anne called her a week ago to try to find out if the rumours were true that i had a gf and wanted her sister to give her my number. Im to be honest afraid not that anything will happen bt that she is looking for me to speak to me after at the end of our realtionship she told me that i would never love anyone but her. She wont get my number everyone who has it knows about what happend between me and her it was no secret but how can i stop feeling this way. Id talk to my gf about it bt i dont want her to be worried about me.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 It is wonderful that you now have a girl friend who you trust enough to be open to her. Your lovely girl friend cried because she empathised. She visualised and attempted to understand what it must have felt like for you, what it was like to be in your shoes, when things were in at their worst.
And in doing that, when she visualised, she felt the pain of perhaps how bad it must have been. She was appalled that the first girl, who you called ''Anne'', had treated you so badly.
And she wanted to reassure you that you are safe with her.
I have to say I felt truly sad for you too, that ''Anne'' thought her behavior was OK.
I do not think ''Anne''was smarter than you. She was just plain nasty and abusive. So sick she ought to be in therapy.
I wish you well in your new relationship.
''Anne'' was not acting normally. Think of her as a silly cruel immature nasty girl.
Start again with your new girlfriend. Today is a new day.
So you can go forward with your new girl because she sounds so much nicer.
Things can only get better from now on.
Best Wishes and Regards
Abella
...............................
A
male
reader, Milo117 +, writes (8 March 2011):
Milo117 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot. I never have expressed any desire to be with anne again instead of my gf and in my head i have no one. I told her about this only a few hours before i posted it. Why did my gf cry when i told her what happened?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): Sex abuse at any age is destructive at many levels. It doesn't matter if you are a guy are a girl either.You don't "love" Anne, you are traumatized by her and haven't broken free of that hold on you. Don't blame her, she didn't get that way without a lot of "help" from someone who distorted her view of sexual relationships and probably abused her in some way.You should seek medical and psychological help to understand this. Your family broke up as well. This is far more than most of us (any of us really) can understand fully without help.No matter how smart or strong we are.Get help.Don't try to have a relationship without understanding what happened to you.By the way, guys often think about a younger guy (young teen) getting laid by an older girl or the hot female teacher "what luck", but it usually doesn't work out that way. Usually it fucks up their future relationships.I've got a brother, smart, makes a lot of money, owns his own business, highly educated, super good grades when he was in college, got laid many years ago by an older married woman who used him for fun sex (her fun and he thought it was his fun as well) when he was to young for it. 30 years later he still can't maintain a decent relationship with a woman, and he doesn't see his problem, and probably has ongoing fears of his wife cheating on him, but would never admit that (you have to see how he treats his wife to know what I mean).You don't want to end up that way. Work on it now.
...............................
|
