A
male
age
30-35,
*alf_spoken_soul
writes: Hello everyone. I've these few problems. In short, I am a 20 year old male. I am in college now. I am still single, so you can guess I've a confidence problem. I've issues talking to girls. So, my problem is I've few friends here. They are always bulling me, calling me a 'nerd'. Trust me, when I say I am not a nerd. I don't know what's wrong with them. I admit, I've the best grades, and I put in effort, but I always hang out with them every time, waste time online, attend concerts etc. I don't even study all the time. Maybe the same amount of time they spend on studying. Somehow I get the highest grades in every exam.In social sites, in college they'll always bug me. I'm fed up. One of them is extreme! And now there is this girl in my class I like, who I want to approach and this guy will humiliate me in front of her; pull my legs, crack jokes about me and he'll flirt with her even though he's got a girlfriend...So it's pissing me off. I cant stand it any more!Please tell me what to do. Thanks. I really need help on this!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 November 2009):
They probably feel they have some dominance over you and so they mess around with you. I don't think it's because they actually think that you're a nerd or that they don't like you, but you're just an easy target for them. Do you get upset too easily or never stick up for yourself? Sometimes if you get pissed at everything quickly and act out, then they see it as funny so they'll bully you even more just to get a rise out of you. If you normally kind of laugh it off, but never say anything when they cross a line--then they probably just assume that it's okay. So I think you should just stick up for yourself, just banter with him. If he crosses a line and really insults you, you should tell him.
As far as the girl. I think you should find a time to approach her when your friend isn't going to be around. That way you don't have to worry about him being rude. I know that it would make you feel even more insecure if he was around acting that way in front of her, but if I was even somewhat interested in a guy and his annoying friend kept talking smack while he was trying to talk to me, personally I'd tell him to shut up. Girls don't necessarily like that behavior, especially if they see a guy with enough guts to talk to her.
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