A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well there's this 17 year old guy who i've been regretably chatting to online, he lives local and is insanely obsessed with me! He knows my phone number and often rings (between 2 - 4 times per day) but i never answer as i don't want to encourage him! A few weeks back i told him i'd meet up with him and go to cinema - like for a date. But since i agreed to do this, he's become even more obsessed! He continuously asks me questions on msn asking how much i like him? Will i go out with him? etc. I tried to be nice saying "I don't know if i'm ready" and "We should just remain as friends" but he just won't have it! He basically asks me until i say "yes" and even when i do so, he still won't shut up! He actually rang my mate (lets call her Hannah) yesterday asking if i was there continuously, and Hannah told him to F off basically... but he wouldn't leave her alone so she had to put her brother on to warn him off!What can i do? I just want him out of my life!!!
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (4 August 2008):
 You have to be more honest with him. You have sent him mixed messages, I think thats because you are a nice person and dont like to hurt anyone. Ive been in this situation several times and it is hard but you have to be firm, polite and honest. Just say look you are starting to get on my nerves a bit, I dont want a relationship with you so stop hassling me every day. He may not take no for an answer staight away but he will get the message eventually and if he doesnt contact, log the calls and contact the police.
I lied to one guy who texted me constantly, he seemed to know exactly where I was at all times and even text me the minute I got into bed to tell me good night. I had a friend who was a policeman so I got him to text him and tell him we were dating and that if he didnt leave me the hell alone he would track him down and get him!! A bit drastic but it worked!!!
A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 You need him to get the message. You've been hinting politely so far. That won't work. Tell him to get lost.
If he keeps it up, ignore him completely. Block him on your IM thing, never answer his calls... chances are he'll give up.
If he still doesn't... well, I guess it's the police. I wouldn't think it would go that far though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): By the sounds of it you are sending him mixed messages. Its best to say that you dont love or want to be with him. Even if you give him a slight thought that you can be together he will be bound to grasp onto this. He must love you deeply so try not to be so hard on him.
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A
male
reader, aidy +, writes (4 August 2008):
i think you must be verystrong if you could stay polite for this long. but sometimes people need to be told strictly. if that doesn't work start to chat with him less on msn and when you do talk to him that if he doesn't stop you will block or delete him as your friend on msn. if that doesn't work maybe walk past his house with a man to make it look like you already have a boyfriend. if all else fails just call the police. answer the question with how it turns out.
best of luck aidy, 12
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Block him on MSN (so he can't see you online or message you.) Get your mates to do the same. Above all, ignore him. Get your mates to ignore him. Phone, e-mail; whatever it is, completely blank him and don't respond.
Don't be afraid to involve the police if he gets too obsessed or if you consider it harrassing.
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A
male
reader, kansasdude408  +, writes (4 August 2008):
well i think what would be best is to just drop all contact with him all together and if he dont leave you alone tell him you are going to file harrament charges on him and that should get him to wuit calling and if you have to get the police envolved well good luck
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