A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 years old, and have always liked girls before, but after recently meeting someone at a new school, I attracted to her in a way that I have never been before. I'll refer to her as Sarah.I'll admit, I went in too soon and asked Sarah out, and she agreed we don't know each other that well.But whenever I try to organise something with a large group of mates, Sarah always seems relectant to come, and provides excuses (which could well be real too).But I've recently been getting a lot of mixed messages on facebook. Example 1: I changed profile picture and became a friend of one of her friends on fbook. This was later posted by Sarah to the new friend "i see your friends with you know who LOL :P xxxxx" and a comment of "tho im rather impressed with 'their' new dp :P lol"Example 2: I post " Sometimes the feeling is right and you fall in love for the first time."Sarah comments "lol." And the status was supposed to be hint to her.She says hi whenever we pass by each other, but I don't know should I ask her out in person explaining we should go out to get to know each other. Or should I ask her to clear the air and say if there's a chance we have something in the future? Or any other options u can think of.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 October 2010):
Agreed with dirtball on the Facebook matter, it's like a text the message your sending could be perceived in so many ways other than the right one. Now, when you ask her to go out with a large group of mates, are you meaning all your friends? If so that could be awkward for a girl and not really a good way to get to know her because she would feel like she's trying to compete for your attention. Your 16-17 a solo date is your best bet. Don't think too much into this like you are, mentioning the future, love quotes, that will scare her off, make her think you're moving this too fast. Instead, ask her out on a solo date. Nothing too fancy, a little more casual if you will. If she says yes, she's into you. However, if she says no then she's not into you, end of trying to pursue her. You got nothing to lose, just outright ask her to go out on a date.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 October 2010):
Don't read anything into Facebook, it generally causes nothing but problems for people who try.
It can't hurt to ask her out again. If you feel like you're still interested why not? "Clearing the air" implies that there is some problem and shows insecurity on your part. I wouldn't bring anything like that up. Just be confident and tell her you want to take her on a date. If she says you don't know eachother well enough, then you respond with, "Well, how else am I going to get to know you? Come on, it's just a date." Of course, you don't have to use my exact words but you get the drift.
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