A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A new girl started at work about 4 months ago and we got on really well - we just kind of clicked, and I don't get that often, so wanted to hold on to it. We started meeting up outside of work, and everything was great - until she told me she fancies me. I'm so confused. I don't feel sexually attracted to her - but I can't stop thinking about her. She's told me to stop flirting with her too - so maybe I am flirting - or is it maybe that I'm being normal, and she's seeing it as flirting? If it was a friend who wasn't gay - then she wouldn't accuse me of fliritng would she? - I'm so confused.I've been with my fiance for almost two years now, and I love him with all my heart - she knows this too but didn't stop her telling me how she feels.I feel like I can't just put her to the back of my mind - and I don't know why.Please help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): How could you be flirting with her? You never knew she was gay, until she told you that long after meeting her? That's her own skewed perception. If she's interested in you romantically, she knows you are engaged and that you are not gay. So this issue is 'her' problem. She mistook your friendliness and warmth for much more, because that's what 'she' wanted. If that is the case, then she's projecting her wants and needs onto you and expecting you to comply. That's disrespectful to you as a person. Plainly put--you are not available. So sit her down and tell her that. This should end the confusion right then and there. Be strong and be honest with her. How she reacts to what you tell her..is her own behavior choiceand may tell you a lot about her as a person. And if she accuses you of flirting..so what! There is not much you can do to change her mind, is there. Drop her out of your life..she sounds like she's the type of person who treats others like she is 'entitled'.
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