A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm a 19 year old female and I am a virgin. I have been dating my bf for 6 months now and am very much in love with him. Everything is perfect between us except that he is ready to have intercourse and I'm not. I don't know why because I love him dearly. He keeps asking my why I won't do it with him and I told him that I'm scared. Scared of what? I don't know, but the idea of having intercouse scares me, even though a part of me wants to try it with him. I think it's starting to frustrate him and I don't want to lose him over this, but I'm still afraid to have intercouse. What should I do? Should I try it because I love him so much or should I wait until I'm not afraid of the idea anymore. What if I'm never comfortable with the idea of having intercouse? Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBecause it's my mother's account. She's the one who suggested that I use this web site to seek aditional advice. She's told me to wait until I'm ready to, but I wanted some different opinions.
A
female
reader, xX_sophie_Xx  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 Hm...If Youre 19 Why Does It Say A Female Aged 35-40 Asked: ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou have all helped tremendously. Thank you so much!
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male
reader, welp +, writes (3 April 2007):
None of this 'if he loves you then....."
You are afraid because of the idea that you can only loose your virginity once. If you and this guy do break up, the one you end up with will always be angry and jealous about how you first had sex with someone else that you 'loved'
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): hello, if he loves you then he shouldn't pressure you into it, if i was with a girl i loved sex would not be essential as long as she feels that way, i'd give her all the time she needed, in your case i'd wait forever and a day for when you feel you aren't scared anymore, the most important thing is that you both don't see sex getting in thje way of your relationship, and if he is always mentioning it then just please think to your self if that's all he wants or at least his primary thing. i know you love him and don't wanna lose him over this but if he really does love you then you won't lose him, and if he doesn't then maybe you might, so think about it please. i hope i helped
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thank you for all of the responses. I think I will wait until I'm more comfortable. And your right, if he can't wait until I'm ready then maybe I'm not the one for him. Thanks again!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): Don't rush it, you are to young and not ready. If he really loves you, he will wait for you to be ready. No man that really wants to make love to "his" woman is going to do it when she is "not sure". Don't pressure your self you'll not when it is time. And never be ashamed to ask for proteccion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): You should most definitely wait!
The fact that you are scared proved that you are not ready to have sex.
And don't be thinking that you have to have sex to keep your boyfriend happy. Wait until you know for sure that you are. And if he loves you he will be patient and wait until you are ready and comfortable doing it.
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A
male
reader, winter_one +, writes (2 April 2007):
My girlfriend is the same as you, in that she is also afraid of intercourse. My advice to you would be the same as what I tell her: wait until you are ready - you can only lose your virginity once.
If your BF really loves you for who you are and not what you can give him, he'll wait.
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A
female
reader, Jobee +, writes (2 April 2007):
Dont do anything until you are ready. If your boyfriend loves you he will wait until you are 100% comfortable, when that time comes you will not be afraid anymore and your body will show you all the signs that you are ready and you will want to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): There are a few questions u should ask urself. i know you dont know why ur afraid to have intercourse, but its important that u find out. is it self consciousness, religious belief, or worry that u wont perform correctly? no matter what the answer, u can change the way u view these aspects. if u are afraid because youre self conscious, ask yourself why. for example, does he do anything to make u feel that way? keep asking yourself questions until u come up with a way to overcome this fear
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female
reader, culturelost  +, writes (2 April 2007):
Hello,
My sugestion is only do when you feel like, but why not go on with some intimacy, to see if you get in the mood? Do you have time to be alone, just the two of you? Maybe could be a good oportunity to explore his body, you have yours explored by he and, when you feel more confortable, all the magic happens!
best of luck!
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