A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend are thinking of having a three-some. he of course is the 1 with the idea and im half there for it. i do want to experience it but of course there are reasons that put me off it a bit. i know we need to set boundaries, but does anyone have any hints that would make the situation safer for our relationship. i do believe we are stong enough but i mean thinking something and experiencing it is something different. i may react to seeing things differently. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): Your first post was very misleading.
You didn't mention anything about you being Bi, or the sex was only going to be between you and your boyfriend, or that your b/f just wanted to watch you giving another girl oral.
My advice to you is contact a swingers site their give you all the advice you need.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 People survive threesomes but relationships rarely do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not to spice up things its for fun. im bi, basically he wants to see me give oral to another girl. the sex would only be between me and him. im not worried about losing him. i was more looking for advice from people who have experienced a threesome to suggest the kinds of things that are commonly involved. i think if anything my age is a good thing, i gave you no information about my relationship, im not a stupid person and neither is he, the person wouldnt be a complete stranger and would be someone who knows me and him well. he is not the same age as me, he is older. people have survived threesomes...
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 If you value your relationship do not go down this road. No matter how 'strong' you think your relationship is, this will damage it if not destroy it completely. If a 3-some is a fantasy well then keep it a fantasy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): If you and your boyfriend truly love each other, DON'T go down this road. Obviously you are having doubts in your mind or you wouldn't have contacted this site for advice. You are right thinking about doing it, is completely different from actually doing it. Just try to imagine watching your boyfriend having sex with a complete stranger, or him watching you, how do you think it would make you both feel, and how would it affect your relationship. If you do decide to go ahead with this, please practise safe sex, even when giving oral.
I found out my long term partner was into three-somes behind my back, he forgot to log off his emails, I even saw pictures of him having sex with them. Sorry to say this, but they looked to me like dogs mating. Needless to say he is now my ex.
I personally don't think there are any hints anyone can give you to make the situation safer for your relationship. It will either make it or break it.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Do you like to share your toys? Were you as a kid protective of your dolls/trains and "sharing" meant beating your little sibling around the head with them?
Because that is after all what you are going to be expected to do, share you BF (or if it is MMF, he is going to have to share you with another guy).
Most people are FAR less ready for this then they think. And if you are so ready to share, then how much do you really value him? (or vice versa)
There is also the rather sexist notion that women bond with their sexpartner to consider. If you think fucking == loving, then what are you feelings going to be to this third person? What are this persons feelings to either of you?
What happens if there is a pregnancy?
Lastly, a threesome is a way to spice up a love life. You are 18-21. You already need spice? When I was your age spice in my love life was having one. What does it say about your relationship and him being into you that he wants a 3rd person there.
The very fact that you ask here shows you have deep concerns about doing this. That to me says you shouldn't. If you have to ask, if ain't for you.
And please, don't you two are strong enough at your age. What you two been through, the hardship of having to decide the first christmas whose parents to visit? Couples break up on this after they have been together for decades.
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