A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Me = 22F, Boyfriend = 20M. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is cute, sexy, funny, and devoted … but I think I turned him into a sex monster. He was very patient about waiting for me to be ready for physical intimacy. He has always had good manners. We both desired each other for a long time leading up to it. He was very cute about trying to keep his composure when he was horny. Now that we have started being active we cannot get enough of each other. I admit it is two way not just him. I crave him anytime his shirt is off. He is not like a gym rat but you can see his tummy muscles when he laughs and he has just perfect normal boy muscles in my opinion. He is a fun lover full of energy all the time and he is getting very good getting me there first before he loses control of himself. He loves my feedback so I give him a lot of positive feedback on being a stud or whatever. Kev is so cute when he is smiling all cocky from the sexy feedback. Of course, he is always in the mood, even after we just finished sometimes. Even if I am not in the mood at first, seeing him trying to be patient when he is obviously horny and hard ends up turning me on and leads to something. I really have nothing to complain about on any of that. The problem I created has to do with a specific night when we ended up in my dorm room instead of his and my evil ex-roommate threatened to complain to the RA and we bargained and she agreed to be quiet if I convinced him to have sex with her because we were making her frustrated. I think she was just jealous and manipulated to get laid by a cute boy. Kev was confused at first but did what I asked. He ended up liking it way too much as we took turns with him that night. We both look back and regret it though. It was the only time either of us has been with someone else. I have asked and he admitted he fantasizes about it sometimes but he has never tried to get me to do anything like that again. We stopped spending time together in my room because I got jealous over it even though I was the one who talked him into it that night. I don’t even spend time with that girl anymore and will not be living with her again. He says he can go his whole life without doing it with two girls again as long as we get to make love. I guess I am the one still triggered by that night. The fact he has fantasizes makes me worried I put that in his head and it made him feel like a stud with two girls in one night and he won’t stay happy without wanting more. I guess it is just confusing. We try fun and different things to keep some variety but he does not make a lot of specific requests besides me saying his name when I am about to orgasm. He tries anything I ask though and even if we don’t like something new we laugh about it together. I really am so lucky and not just on the sex part. Why am I driving myself crazy thinking about that one night so much? How do I just let it go and not let it ruin the wonderfulness we have? Also, are we sex monsters if we do it almost every day. I told him he was a sex monster and he growled very funny. I guess it is ok if he is my sex monster and I don't have to share him. BTW I let him read this post so he is curious what people have to say to us also. He said to say he was sad I am still thinking about that one night and hopes people have advice for us. He made me take some details about him out where I guess I was just on about him that he said was too personal and he said this post was too long. The stuff I took out was just positive talking about his appearance and body.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2023): Just because you enjoy sex does not make you monsters. Glad that he was very patient about waiting for when you wanted physical intimacy. Glad that he has always had good manners. It so natural to crave him. Glad that he is a fun lover. Sex is a beautiful thing that should be enjoyed.glad that he loves your feedback. Talking about physical and emotional needs, what feels safe, and what doesn't, and channeling your sexual energy completely at each other is good. With that kind of trust it's okay to show your insecurities, and it he's doing good by continuing to hold a safe space and affirm that everything is okay. Maybe you two should go on a romantic weekend trip together.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2023): College is the time and place to experiment. Kudos to your roommate for her negotiation skills. The three of you will remember that night in your retirement village. and sex every day is normal. 50 years ago my wife, then girlfriend liked sex once a week, then twice, then 3x a day. The threesomes:
I skipped a class and came back to my room and she was having sex with my Black roommate. More shocked than jealous. She had been bribing his with hand jobs to leave the room. That evolved to BJs and sex. She took his virginity first, second and third.. I knew those two had an end date, he was a band guy, not her type. But she kept bribing him till years end. She never felt guilt or shame and I wasn't going to do better. I married that dirty little minx. She's been faithful. I'm pretty sure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2023): You two sound like a pair of wonderful goofballs that are perfect for each other. So what if you love your sex life. It does not make you monsters. The loaning him out to keep your roommate quiet was stupid. It is natural for a guy to fantasize about weird stuff, especially something that happened in the past. It does not mean he is unhappy with you or needs to ever do it again. It may bother you for a while, but keep reminding yourself it is old news. It has nothing to do with your future. I say you enjoy and appreciate each other. TBH I am a little jealous of you guys. You sound like a fun couple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2023): It's easy to feel irrational that you're holding onto this even though it was your idea in the first place. I see it as completely normal. In my own relationship once, we were in a position where I thought I wasn't able to give my man what he needed, so I gave him permission to find it somewhere else, and it was my idea. Though when it actually came down to it, I got super emotional and jealous and couldn't actually handle sharing. What worked for us moving forward, was just being super transparent about our physical and emotional needs, multiple conversations about what works, what feels safe, and what doesn't, and forgiveness (for eachother and yourselves)through the process. Also, the fact that you guys are channeling your sexual energy completely at each other is already a really good start, With that kind of trust it's okay to show your insecurities, and it he's doing good by continuing to hold a safe space and affirm that everything is okay.
Also good on him for being honest about his fantasies when you asked, because even though it might not feel great hearing, you know that he's telling you how it is, and you don't have to wreck yourself wondering. Overall I think you've set up the foundations of your relationship really well, and it will just take some time and assurance for your subconscious to understand your relationship isn't in danger and no one is going to leave you.
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