A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year!In the beginning it was great and i couldn't be any happier. We did everything together we were insepartable. Then his mother got involved in our relationship then it just started going down hill, not to mention him and his mother are really close and he thinks she is always right about everything. don't get it twisted i love her also but she's too involved in our relationship. Thats not the only problem theirs ex girlfriends calling from left to right and his mother keeps in contact with them also. Im getting fed up but im in love with the man i met. And i've tried everything like talking, breaking up with him and think it all would change. And all he does is always walk away from me. I believe he loves me but he's been through alot in life. Im really in love with him and i dont wANT TO lose him but im not happy like i was. And im hurting inside all i do is cry and think and wonder. pleas give me some good advice... i just want my bestfriend back...
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 i understand you dont want to just turn your back and leave, but sometimes leaving things like that its best thing we can ever do for our sanity. maybe games might work but what if they dont who will hurt more?
i always believe its better to get a bitter mother-in-law with an independent son who knows where to draw the line and i dont think this son knows how to draw the line. mama's boys stays like that until the day they die belive me i have been there done that got a father. anyway people arent the same maybe the games will wake them up and they will definitley give you the attention you seek for your sake. at the end of the day its your choice to make and i hope you will make the right one.
Jovial
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): hey, thanks for the advise!
but things have gotten worst! There isn't any respect there or trust anymore! Its gonna hurt to leave him but i think its the right thing to do! I want to move on but im scared. i just wish he would change. but i guess he wont. if anyone think he can change please tell me what games to play.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): What I could write on the subject of mothers in law or their equivalent. I will say this much.... it is very hard for men in particular to see any wrong doing in their Mothers. I learn't the hard way not to push on this - but to play the long game and to give them enough slack and the 'mother' will show her true colours. At the moment you are drawing all the energy to yourself and making you look negative. By staying calm the Mothers actions will make themself clear and he should see things for himself. Naturally men don't like to be told bad things about their mothers - but you must maintain your own decisions and esteem this is vital. If I am being less objective I would say... don't put yourself through years of heartache with a Mummy's boy. They can be a real turn off and lets face it -it says a lot about a guys feelings for a woman when he can only see his Mothers side. Even the word 'side' is wrong. He hasn't grown up yet I'm afraid and is clearly still in the world of being his Mothers 'other husband' or even 'replacement husband' as unfortunately so many men end up being - sometimes from duty or guilt. This keeps the men at their mothers beck and call but the women in their lives always take 2nd place. Eventually that will divide you causing deep resentment and continual arguments. You need to decide whether its worth sticking it out for the long term because it can take years for things to change. Don't forget also that when you marry a guy you also marry his family.
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A
female
reader, kirstylouise  +, writes (22 May 2007):
Hi, im afraid I have to agree with Jovial, you've mentioned that you've already tried talking and it didn't get you anywhere! What did he say, what did you say?
If he really cared about you and wanted you he would have put your needs first - it really is that simple. Sometimes like Jovial said things change and it sound like things have changed alot. One question though did something happen around the 1 yr mark to make his mother act this way? Did a love one die, did you and your b/f have a big argument? What was she like at the beginning of the relationship?
Even if you were to slip up whats stopping you from continuing a friendship with this man?
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (22 May 2007):
sometimes in life things just change its either for the better or for worse and unfortunately yours is worse and the only favour you can do to yourself is to cut your looses and forget mama's boy. i think you have done enough, remember this is also his relationship so its not your fight alone. if you are saying lets salvage what we have and all he does is walk away; and as if that is not enough his mother say the last word, you are heading for more pain if you dont walk away right now.
be happy that love came knocking at your door and you opened unfortunately this man is just not what you are looking. a man who loves and respect you will do anything rationally to keep you. good luck
Jovial
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