A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear readersI have a question which i need some help and advice on. By not knowing me i think you can provide me with your honest and open opinionI met this guy off the internet in August. it was an indian dating website which i had no hope of working. we met up after talking on the phone and got on really well.When we were out on our first date, he wined and dinned me and we kissed..... he even dropped me home which took over an hour.We were still together up till yesterday where things went sour.so far during our relationship we have done the following-going on holidays (he taught me how to ski)-mini breaks together-theatres-restuarantshe has even bought me jewelry and teddys etcall positive i feel.Yesterday i asked him about how things were going, just to see and communicate if we had any issues. I didnt want to be with someone for two years and then get married. (its not the indian way..he is 32 and me 28) parents are also looking for me to settle down. plus i didnt want to get hurt..he has had long relationships of one and two years and nothingHe said that when he went out with me on our first date, he was at that point "on the shelf" his own words and hence wanted to give this a go! and he said now 5 months on, his feelings have grown slightly but not to the extent which it has grown in his previous relationships. He never said its over (Yet) and he tried calling 3 times but i wasnt in the mood to pick up and talk... even got a vmail and he was acting normalhis previous relationships he met the girls in different ways.... clubs, bars....etc.He did say i have a wicked personality but its the looks..... ie not the type of girl he normally goes for! he is into his looks even though he isnt the most good looking guy in the world...to me he is good looking.... his personality brings out the best in himWhat do you all think..... will i keep my man? is he scared....did i put him on the spot and hence.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answer ; - ) he has since called and apologised! however i need time to think, maybe he was being spitful....... but i am not going to make excuses for him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): He is enjoying the fun of your relationship, i don't think he is in any mind frame for "settling down" unfortunately for you. You have a decision to make. You either continue to enjoy things as they are with no long term plan or you lay it out on the table for him that you want a long term commitment and take the consequences. My honest view is that you should not get married to ANYONE unless you truly want to spend the rest of your life with that person, no matter what your family says. over 30 does not equal have to get married. If you really LOVE this guy and want to know where ye are going and its important for you not to waste time, ask him out straight, you'll know in your heart and soul whats his honest response.
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 To be honest... if you have been together for five months and he is still debating over if he likes you enough or not, I don't think he is your guy! I can understand that someone might not be sure about going out on a second date because of looks, but after five months it is kinda difficult to understand.
You deserve someone who is head over heals for you... at least I think everyone does! If he is not sure he is physically attracted to you and feels he is not into you as he would be with someone else, I think you should really watch out.
Then again, I could be wrong! Good luck!
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