A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I ruined my friendship with my best guy friend. We almost hooked up a couple of times when we were drunk and it went downhill from there. He said something offensive to me another day and I stopped talking to him because of it. He was honestly one of my best friends, but now I'm too scared to approach him. A friend has told me that he is afraid to approach me but also wants things to go back to normal. Should I call him? I really don't know what to do. I want to be friends again because I've seen that I messed up, but I also don't want to seem pathetic and obsessed with him. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): You should stop getting drunk. Not only are you underage, but you're making bad decisions and possibly putting yourself in harm's way. Where in the hell are your parents when you're coming home drunk?!
A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (27 June 2010):
 I've been there a time or two. Well, here's the thing. If you've tried hooking up or at least attempted to, do you have feelings beyond friendship for this boy? If you have feelings for him, chances are it will never feel completely "normal", especially if they are not well received or returned. You must evaluate how you feel and if friendship is all you truly want. If you honestly feel you can return to normalcy, continue your friendship as it was before the drama, and you believe in the importance of this friendship, then it might be best to be the "bigger person" and give him a casual call. Discuss it with him, offer perhaps an apology, and see what you get in return. If he receives your words well and offers a few of his own, then carry on. If he is insulting or uninterested in your feelings, move on. You won't seem pathetic or obsessed if you just try to have an adult conversation. If he is a true friend, he will appreciate every minute of it and your efforts. Best of luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): As difficult as it is to make the first move to make things right, it's always good to try to be the first to swallow your pride and initiate, since most people are too stubborn to, and there would be too many friendships and other types of relationships thrown away on account of pride, if not just for one person making the first and most difficult move. You've admitted some responsibility to us, which is great, because it shows that you have the ability to show him that you'll try hard not to ever do the same mistakes, on your part, in the future. However, when you approach him to resolve everything, make sure that in the following days, he's changed for the better, as well. It takes two to continue a great friendship, but if he doesn't show the same care and respect as you would expect, in the future, don't stand for that, either. All you can do, at this point, is be the better person, and initiate contact, and if he judges you or slanders you for it, then at least you can have peace in your heart that you actually tried as best you can. Just be prepared that he may not actually feel the same way, no matter what you say to him, as far as salvaging the friendship you've had. Good luck with everything, but don't ever be afraid to express how you feel.. you'll feel better letting everything out, and trying to make positive changes from it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): I think you should just wait awhile and see what happens...maybe he might apologize for what he said and likewise, but that also depends on what exactly was said. Personally for me, I think friends that are true and sincere is a rare thing between a man and a woman as long as you are just friends and there is no hidden feelings that are more than that. So if you feel that your friendship with him is important to you, you should wait for awhile and then maybe be the bigger person and go talk to him. If he doesn't want to remain friends, then at least you know you'd tried. It's kinda hard to say because I have a boyfriend that talks to his high school sweetheart, and I guess I would have been okay with them being friends but both have lied and hidden things from me so I can't trust their friendship.
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A
female
reader, batman5 +, writes (27 June 2010):
I honestly can't see how you think you messed things up. Don't blame yourself. Instead, try to approach him with a joke or something and say you miss the old times. Or tell him you don't know what happened or you don't understand and ask him why you guys aren't as close as ya'll used to be. He should confess. Then, soon enough you guys will be joking about it. If he doesn't tell you anything or doesn't reply, he never cared and you shouldn't waste your time.
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