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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello, OK this is my story. Been in a very good relationship for 6 years. One month ago my girlfriend asked for space as she thinks she may want to see other people, but is not sure and she does not want to cheat.That was about 5 weeks ago, so I didn’t contact at all until last week. She was on holiday and I asked her how she was getting on and hoped she was having great time. She replied instantly with very positive txt with an x at the end..which I had not included in my txt.Then phoned her few days later to arrange a date, which she agreed to and we flirted and teased both on phone and during date. She even bought me a present from her hols.Although at the end of the date she suggested waiting another couple of weeks till we meet again.I would very much appreciate any responses from ladies in particular with regard to to..what do you think I should do next ? And do you think this sounds promising for me? As I am acting happy around her and trying not to push her away but deep down the whole thing is affecting my whole life and I am desperate to go back out with her! cheers..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): If you were together for six years and the relationship was very good,she's bound to be at least fond of you and have some positive feelings toward you.
However, she asked for space and you did your part in agreeing without giving her a hard time about it. The fact that she was happy to see you when you did go out recently is what suggests to me the positive feelings. BUT she's still not sure. Six years is a long time to be together, and she sounds as if she needs to think about whether this is something she wants for the rest of her life.
I believe you have no choice but to agree to her request to wait a couple more weeks before meeting again. Then, you may have a better idea as to where she is with you.
Don't be surprised if she still is not certain! Five weeks is not (well, it will have been seven weeks)all that long to try to assess what she wants for the future.
Perhaps she'll make up her mind to stay with you; perhaps she'll still want to be friends but not meet so often. You'll just have to wait and see - but also, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU want from your relationship, and be prepared to talk it over with her, without being pushy!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2006): You need to find something to fill your time. You should try not to dwell on the situation or sit around running scenarios around in your mind about whether she is or is not "still in to you".
Reflect on why she "needed space". Are you too smothering or controlling?
I've seen this situations before -- sometimes the couple gets back together, sometimes not. You are in control of how this "thing is affecting your whole life". Be true to yourself, and be emotionally healthy. Find something positive to do. Play an instrument or have the desire to learn? Take some lessons. Take a night class or on-line course. Take a CPR class. Not only will this help focus on something constructive, it will make you a more interesting person to be around. It's hard and it hurts, and it takes loads of courage, but you must quit focusing on her to remain emotionally healthy.
Good luck.
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