A
male
age
41-50,
*otwheels1
writes:My ex and I are very close friends and love eachother more than anything. We are in a very confusing situation for both of us. We are not officialy together, but we do everything that a couple does. Things like we talk or see eachother everyday, massages, talk about personal problems, we are even physically intimate. We already have plans for 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas (even already have ideas for gifts for eachother). She even called me the other night to come over and keep her company till she fell asleep because she didn't want to be alone. I think the only reason we are not back together is we are both scared of ending back where we were, but things are different now. Situations that used to cause huge fights between us are just little disagreements that are settled without even the slightest damper on the time we spend together now. I guess I need advice on if we should try to take the next step and officially be back together, or take more time, remain friends/love doves, and see what happens, or any advice on the situation for that matter.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): So what's missing? Just a label? Or something more?
I think your best option is just to think about what you think is missing from the way things are. Is it that you want a commitment that neither of you is seeing other people? Do you just want to be able to tell her you love her?
If you just want commitment for the sake of commitment, I don't know how much sense that makes. If you want to tell her something about how you're feeling, I think you should do that.
Just be sure you're honest with yourself, and then be honest with her.
A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (3 April 2008):
 It sounds like you're in a pretty ideal situation already. Why ruin it by trying to put a label on it?
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 If things are working out for you guys now, why possibly ruin it? If when you were together things caused fights, and now they don't, then why would you throw that away? I agree that it would be lovely if you guys were a couple and you could do even more of that couply stuff, but would you really want to risk it when you feel that you're doing couply stuff already?
If you feel you would like to risk it to make things better, go for it. If you feel that you are perfect as you are and don't want to risk a friendship, stay as you are.
Wishing you the best.
xx
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