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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and he's great and georgeous. He makes me feel safe and the relationship's been great, but just lately I've been worried about my feelings for him changing. I don't think they are, I'm just so scared of everything ending.I think it's affecting our relationship because the whole time I'm with him I'm worrying about what it would be like if I weren't with him and if it ended. Any thoughts???? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Paul, writes (22 February 2005): Somewhat stating the obvious, what you've got yourself here is a case of relationship anxiety. The first question I'd ask is whether you've discussed it with him. Even if you think it would be dangerous to mention it, I think you have to. Nothing is more likely to be the nail in the coffin for a relationship than dishonesty. A good relationship is a two-way sharing of everything that you are. If you are unable to share your feelings about your relationship then you have no hope for success or happiness within it, I'm afraid. Honesty is the best policy.
A reader, Katy Smith, writes (22 February 2005): Hi, I can see your panic attact here, all you need to do is relax, then let him know your feelings and your worries, he needs to hear it and so do you, you need to hear it because by talking about it you can become more confident in your relationship again! As you have said it above, say so to your boyfriend, not just others, talk to your partner and see what he says and how he feels. This is communication!!! It is the most important thing in anyyy relationship, I actually should take my own advice and talk to MY boyfriend about some issues of ours that he doesnt know about yet.I can see and I KNOW that it is really hard to get it all out there and in the open as I am having trouble so myself. But in the end, you do need to know dont you? You need to know how he feels, will he leave you, will things change, will he say that 'no of course not, it will be fine, we are together forever', now dont we all just want to hear that from our partners! Let him know that you are worried about this, that you care for him this much that you are getting to the point where you are thinking of the future and dont want to lose what you have with him.Well, Good Luck and I hope I have been 'some' help to you! Just talk to him, a lot!
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