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anonymous
writes: There is a girl that is a friend of mine but I am beginning to fancy her. I am scared to ask her out.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Paul, writes (22 February 2005): Sheesh. Always a tough one this. You don't say how long you've known her, but the longer it is then the longer the relationship has had to concrete itself into a "friendship" rather than a "romance". If you've not known her very long then it's all cool - you can proceed much slower. Start by asking her out to something innocuous and then whilst on THAT date (which she might not think is a date at all) ask her out on one which is a little more blatant, like out for dinner.If, however, you've known her for a long time then you've got to be more brazen or she's likely to mistake your advances for an extension of your friendship. Personally I've always preferred to just either make a pass at her, or just send her a simple text like "I really fancy you". True it's blunt, and some would instincively shy away from it, but it's to-the-point with the minimum of fuss. It's a lot easier than going through months of psuedo-dates where you just aren't sure where you stand. The fact is that you can't really go wrong. The worst thing she can say is 'no', but at least then you know one way or another. The agony of not-knowing is far worse. And remember, if she fancies you then the WAY you make your intentions known is, within reason, irrelevant - it's not going to change her mind one way or the other.Be bold, for fortune favours the brave. Good luck soldier.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2005):
 Don't be scared! She's a friend, isn't she? She won't bite off your head. If she would, then you certainly wouldn't be attracted to her, would you?If you want to ask her out to a specific event, phrase it as if you're going by yourself anyway, and that she'd be welcome, if she wanted to come. Ex: "I was going to the match on Saturday. I'd love some company and I can get another ticket if you'd like to come too."Another method that will allow you to proceed carefully and without risking too much, is to ask her if she'd like to meet you somewhere for lunch, or coffee, or drinks, or study (depending on your age and interests). The best thing about coffee/lunch/drinks is that it doesn't have to go on all night, if you get nervous and/or tongue-tied.Finally, if you're really, really terrified of rejection, text her and ask her that way. Just remember that most girls want some warning so they can get ready, so try to give her a few days' notice!Good luck; you'll go great!-B
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