A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been getting close to a girl for the pst three months. Started off emailing and texting with the old paranoia of 'does she like me?'. then we started hanging out- cinema- meals etc. eventually i told her i liked her- she reciprocated. Then i told her last week i'd like to make it offical. She said she'd like that but she wanted me to be sure becuase she has some health issues that she was worried would be too much for me to deal with (not sexual - will be explained why i mention that later). Obviously they don't change my opinion but i told her 'ok, we'll take it slow but you know how i feel'. So now, we're really hanging out- i think on the verge of a proper relationship. But i am really shy and as of yet havn't made a move. so we are hanging out every day in each others rooms etc. and she's really snuggling up and getting cozy so last night i tried to kiss her. Just a kiss. It sort of happened but she didn't seem very responsive and it ended quickly. I saw her again today, we were all snuggled up and i tried again. Every time she'd give a quick kiss then look away. she said "you probably don't want to be kissing me at the moment" then snuggled up to me followed by jokes and sporadic flirting.... i know we're taking it slow but is she trying to imply that she just wants to be friends? she doesn't really seem to pay me that much attention in terms of compliments or acknowledging our situation but she also is refusing to accept my compliments that i try to give her. she told me that she wants to be bf and gf but i can't help but feel more and more alienated. whats going on? what should i do? She takes meds and nebulisers as she has bad asthma that quite often forces her into hospital.But i spent every day with her when she went in and i've made it clear that it doesn't bother me. It's not that i'm trying to force anything physical- far from it, i really like this girl and will wait as long as she wants. i just need some assurance that it's going somewhere. If it is a confidence thing, how can i boost her confidence when she won't believe me when i tell her how beautiful she is and tells me i'm being weird if i look at her too long. Then a full on long lasting cuddle in bed. It's strange how she's changed since we first met. My opinion of her hasn't changed one bit but she seemed confident and happy at first and now I can't help but get the feeling she's going off me. Then she invites me to work do's and stuff.... I'm really confused. Maybe there is another guy? but i've been with her evryday practically for the last three weeks. I don't want to lose this girl but don't know if I even have her to lose!
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male
reader, BubbaTech  +, writes (31 October 2008):
NO!!! Do not Doubt her, and Never Question her about another MAN!!!
If you really care about this Girl, ask her about being intimate. tell her how you feel!! Gently Tell her you want to kiss her because you love and care about her! Gently tell her that your body is so confused about her, that your lips want to kiss her, that your hands want to feel her soft skin, that your eyes want to see her beautiful body...
There are lots of ways you can play this, and lots of ways you can screw up this relationship by demanding stuff.
It is easier to approach this like she is a innocent virgin, but there may be some history of abuse with her, so be careful.
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