A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im having some issues with my boyfriend, that being his ex girlfriend/my ex best friend. they had secretly gone out behind my back and after that i ended both relationships. it took me a really long time to trust my ex again but he tried really hard to be friends with me and was genuinely sorry for what happened, while my so called best friend wasnt. we have been together now for maybe two months, and the trust i had lost in him before is back, though not completely. now the girl, she is known to be manipulative and slutty, and since she is still in the same friendship circle as me i am nice to her. at a party which i wasnt there, she had been talking and persuading with my ex, flirting with him and saying all these emotional things to him so that they could be friends again. this made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, because this is what she does. she manipulates guys by pretending to be upset so that she can use them. i trust my boyfriend, but as i said before the trust is not completely there and this girl was the source of all our problems in our previous relationship. even though he has told me he loves me and that he would never do anything like that to me again, i told him that it makes me uncomfortable that this girl has the audacity to try and get him back after betraying me and him when she ended up hooking up with his best friend. because of this, i had told him that if he did pursue with this friendship with her that i was out of the relationship. i know this may sound extreme, but after going through being betrayed by two people i love i have become extremely cautious and careful of all my relationships. but now i have found out that he had told her about a private party of his which he knew i wouldnt be able to go to, and now she is going. this makes me so angry and when i confronted him he said i was being unfair because i dont trust him. and the thing is its not that i dont trust him, its that i had asked him specifically not to do something and he went ahead and did it anyway and claims me to be unfair! i feel like if we are constantly going to fight over this girl, who hasnt even become a close friend of his yet though that is her intention, we will just end up breaking up again and im so afraid that they will get together again as well. please help. i dont know what to do
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best friend, ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): you don't trust him. if u can't forgive him, trust him, should you really be with him? if it's really love u and your bf stronger than her.
A
female
reader, beenthruit  +, writes (30 May 2009):
This will sound harsh but you will never be able to trust him again or her for that matter. get them both out of your life forever.If you were in love realy in love with someone, would it occur to you to rush off and have sex with their best friend?I didn't think so.If thatr is the case why let him hang around if he really has strong feelings for you we will find you and make things work. So leave it in teh past and move on.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Matt489  +, writes (30 May 2009):
I don't think this girl is the source of your problem. Yes she did a horrible thing to you, but so did your boyfriend, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place if there wasn't a problem with your relationship in the first place. My personal view on cheating is that it is unforgivable and no cheater should be given a second chance, however this is only what works for me and you have to make your own mind up wether or not you can trust your boyfriend again. The fact that you have told him that you don't like and mistrust this woman and don't want him around her and yet he then goes and invites her to a party he knows you cant attend sounds very suspect to me. That added to the fact that they where openly flirting infront of you makes me think you are being taken advaantage of and your boyfreind wants to burn the candel at both ends, having you at home and his party girl on the side. I think you should take a step back decide how much the relationship meens to you and have hard look at the facts involved without letting your heart get involved. Once you know what you want sit down with your boyfreind and let him talk as see what he has to say. Don't let yourself get sweettalked and find out what he really wants.
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