A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a neighbor who I am on friendly terms with and another person who I would consider a friend as I have done lots of favors for her. We have also carpooled to some of our kids' activities in the past. I recently joined their Ladies Club. I have asked them about carpooling to some of our activities, and they consistently turn me down. My neighbor is always very friendly, and she asks me to do favors for her now and then. She is a very nice person. These two people carpool together now and then.It really hurts my feelings that I am unwelcome in their carpool, and I don't understand why. I am easily offended, especially since I know these people well.I would like to know if you have any advice as to what you would say to your neighbor or to the other gal. Should I do one of the following:1. Don't say anything to either one of them.2. My neighbor and I sometimes walk if we happen to meet up. I could say, "You are welcome walk with me or to ride with me anytime, even if I am not welcome to ride with you."3. Call and offer my neighbor a ride or the person who I consider a friend, even though they have turned me down in the past.4. Say to one of the ladies, "I thought this was a Christian Community but possibly not".Which approach would you take?Any possibilities as to why I may not be welcome?I appreciate your insight and advice.Stressed out in Seattle
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Say "hey I know a random arab muslim guy who thinks you ladies are not being kind and returning a favor" lol
Friendships are about give n take and that doesnt matter if your Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc. If you give, and they just take, chances are these people are taking advantage of your utter kindness and generousity and thus are not worth the investment of your time.
Quit giving. If they take that hint, maybe theyll ask whats up.
If youre bold and wanna be straightforward, you can always invite them over for coffee, charades, and michael w smith lol. This way you can ease the tension a bit and get them relaxed so you can address the issue effectively. Kindly bring it up and say hey I feel I give a lot to you guys cause I care for you, etc. and itd be nice to get something back thru carpooling cause I feel we should have equal exchange.
If they give you lip or some rubbish?...gone. Theyre not your friends and you should cut them out. Especially if they are not practicing what they preach. I dont like hypocrites regardless of what religion...its just unethical.
Kind Regards
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