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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I know the first response to this question might be that it's none of my business, but any helpful suggestions will be appreciated!I know a couple, both 40 ( and 8 years older than me) and they have a 10 year old son. It seems like they really don't do anything but hang out at malls. Their son doesn't have any hobbies either and though smart, is very dependent on his parents for entertainment. I have tried to get him interested in different things- books, astronomy, board games, photography. He will show an interest for half hour and then nothing. He doesn't play sports or really have friends. I don't have kids- am not even married or in a relationship, so realise I have no experience- but it annoys me that the only thing they do with their son is go to the mall. They don't push him to do anything and it just feels like such a waste.Should I say something? I got him so many books he hasn't read, games he hasn't played, the telescope was taken out once when it was given two years ago.... How will he gain an interest in anything if he is not exposed to different things. I obviously cannot go there every weekend and try to engage him in different stuff.... I don't know why it even bothers me so much! What should I do- just not say anything or do anything? After all, he is their son and they obviously know what's best... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 March 2016):
 Has it not occurred to you that they may have tried similar things with the same results? Apparently you haven't made any progress with the boy so why are you blaming them?I strongly suggest you keep your uninformed opinions to yourself. Parents - those folks with actual experience raising kids - do not appreciate the unsolicited opinions of those who don't. We can't legislate interest. If he doesn't want to pursue any of those hobbies no one can force him. Leave him be and let him find his own.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 March 2016):
 I think you should leave it be. He isn't being neglected, he just hasn't found HIS passion yet. (as far as you know)
I have 3 kids (all girls) and they are all VERY different from each other. From the introvert to the SUPER extrovert. They are all slowly finding THEIR niche. We have let them try things they thought they were interested in and we have let them NOT do anything. While I REALLY wanted them to do a LOT of sports (because I did as a kid/teen) it seems like my kid are more into the arts.
I think his parents KNOW him much better than you ever will and they are letting him do his own thing.
Parenting isn't ONE size fits all. There isn't a manual.
I'd stop wasting money on things for him - because while YOU may think stargazing is cool (which it totally is) he might not. Spending time with him shouldn't be about "stuff" you give him, and specially not with the expectation that he will LIKE it as much as you do. He is a kid.
If you WANT to give him "stuff" maybe a gift card? That way whatever he likes he can buy himself?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 March 2016):
 What is YOUR stake in this matter?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 March 2016):
 The reason why he won't do anything it's because he has a mind of his own and the parents decided not to mold him, to fight with his spirit, but instead just nurture quality time together. Some kids are good at listening and following rules. Some kids won't barge and want their own way. What you see is two parents who are complacent and too easy going. What you don't see could be two tired parents who refuse to live their lives with screaming tantrums, and figuring out solutions every 5 minutes trying to control the situation.
I wouldn't say anything because there is no one way to parenting. His interest is spending time with parents at a leisurely pace. Unless he lives in competitive places like Hong Kong, Seoul, Tokyo, or Singapore, it's fine that he just be a kid, and worry about potential in a few more years.
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