A
female
age
41-50,
*ngell33
writes:I have been seeing a wonderfull good man for 5 months now. He is not over his ex. He spent 15 years with her, she was his only other girlfriend other than myself. They have been apart over a year. They have no contact with each other. The problem is that I feel he has never really dealt with it, causing her to come back to haunt us. Especially it seems when we reach a new level of intamacy. I am tired of feeling like thier are 3 of us in this relationship. The most frustrating part is that our relationship is very good. We get along great enjoy doing the same things. We never argue or fight. We have mutual respect and feeling for each other. And to make it even harder in the past month I can feel the love that is growing between us. But, it seems that we take 2 steps forward and 1 step back about every couple of weeks. Leaving him feeling drained and mixed up. I recently asked him if she were to come back to you tomorrow.. What would you do? He said he didn't know, that it would be difficult but that he would consider getting back with her. This of course felt like a kick in the stomach to me as I am in love with him. What did I do? I did the only thing I could do. I told him that I would not be second best. That I was his future and she was his past and that he had to commit to one. That is, if he wanted to be with me. My question is... should I give this wonderful man a chance and be patient. Or should I cut my losses now and chalk it up to bad timing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): After what he said I would dump him. I mean it is still so early in the relationship. It is early enough to not get your feelings too hurt. But I also think it has been enough time for him to know if he loves you or not.
Just let it go and get someone who is completely available for you.
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Only you can decide that babe, how long are you prepared to wait?
Tell him how you feel again, and let him know that if he can not commit to you 100% and leave the past in the past then you have no future, you could suggest having a break while he sorts his head out and decides what he really wants.
They were together a long time and he clearly did not have mmuch time on his own afterwards, so maybe he needs that now.
Take care.xx.
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