A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone,I am pretty upset now and don't know how anyone deals/copes with it. Anyways my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years now. We had our ups and downs, never broke up EVER. If we did it lasted like 2 days. These past couple of days he's been different, but at the same time he hasn't. We still have sex and when we went out yesterday he seemed like his normal self of being so into me. But yeah so these past couple of days he's been strange. All he wants to do is go home after a long day at work, workout and sleep because "he is tired." He never would text me or call me after or even call me or text me the whole day.I feel like i'm the one who is always making the move. I am not a needy person but hey, make time for me, you girlfriend of almost 4 years who has done nothing but good stuff for you! That is how I feel.Last night, he claimed he was tired again and I just became upset. I called him back asking what the deal is, why he is so cold and wtf is going on in our relationship. He kept saying he doesn't know. I was so upset pacing the floors and just angry. I took a shower and to my suprise I came out and saw 3 missed calles and a voicemail. To my avail, I knew off the bat they werent going to be positive but negative message because of how stuff was going.I was right. He left me a message and said "if you go out tonight with your friends I'll make it easier on you, the other day I met a girl got her number and we hung out the other day.Goodnight".I was so disgusted upset and get a little emotional but I felt like I was sick of the shit at this point. How can you do something to someone you "love so much" Weve been thru thick and thin and I've always have been there for him during his tough times at home, work and other stuff.I am not trying to run after him but I feel like I need to see him once more to give him MY CLOSURE before we really do part our ways.I probably would feel alot better in doing so.Just try to put yourself in my shoes. I am the nicest genuine girl. I never cheated on him, did anything. I don't go out alot with my friends but when I do i let him know everything. I remained with this guy straight during highschool and after when he joined the army. We wrote letters to eachother all the time and It seemed like something to be cherished almost like a movie. He did get out of the army due to injury and we were still together. He is now 22 and I am 21.I know in the beginning of relationships its all rainbows, butterflies and happy things but that was felt during to. I guess this just came to a halt.I wish it didn't have to end like this but I rather have it happen now then if we got married and had kids.Please help me someone. I am in not a happy state of mind now and I cant really express to anyone how I truely feel other then on this site.Thank You
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 I am sorry he ended your 4 year relationship in such a cowardly way.
But look on the bright side, he showed you his true colours before you were married with kids.
You are a genuine person who has the capacity to truely love someone. Feel blessed that you have this gift that your ex clearly does not. If he had any love and respect for you and the 4 years of your life you gave to him, he would have at least been honest with you instead of telling you that over text message.
Come away from it knowing you are the better person. you have shed the skin of your old, useless relationship and you are now fresh and able to form a much better relationship.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Leave this guy. He made it clear that he sought out another girl other than you. He's not worth your time anymore. He seems very controlling the way he guilt tripped you into going out with your friends. If you really want closure, then tell him how you feel the next time he comes home from 'work' and how he's hurt you. He may not care but you'll know that he knows that you think he's a scumbag. You can find someone better than him.
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