A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't think I love my boyfriend anymore. We've been together for two years and I moved 200 miles away from home to his flat with him (and his mum) 6 months ago becaus of problems at home. We spend every minute of every day together and I can't imagine not being with him. We've talked about marriage and kids one day and he says that that is what he wants. I don't know what do to, he's a lovely guy but the little things get to me. I've built a life here and am close to him family. I have no where else to live either. Do I stay with him? How do you know if you love someone? We argue all the time but he says he wants to be together. I feel like I've invested EVERYTHING into this relationship and I can't let go. There's no spark, I don't know if there ever was. What should I do
View related questions:
spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, XxMishxX +, writes (6 December 2011):
hey,
i was kind of in your position. I met a guy from a internet friend. He lived 80+ miles from me. i was going through a hard time at home and decided to move in with him (we had an online r/ship for around 4/5months.
I fell out with my family big time so had no contract with them and i too was your age (17yrs) I gave everything up to be with him, friends, family and an education.
Everything was fine at the beginning, we got on well, i didnt too much like his family but no familys perfect. we talked about marraige, we decided to try for a baby. After around 2months he started going to his mates all day, im talking 12pm-4am ish, then eating and sleeping then back to his mates. he started to be proper controlling and violent. Id cry everyday and i was depressed, this carried on for 2months. I was seriously questioning our r/ship but what could i do? my family hated me, had no friends, was in a strange town and more importantly no credit (i had no money) one day he came home and said 'iv cheated on you, i want her, its over, i want you out of the house' he was so brasen, like he didnt care. we had a huge fight (at around 2am) and i begged him to give me time to make some calls. I went to the local library, borrowed someones phone and got my old mate to phone me, she told my mum and i ended up gettin histerical on the phone, the library people took me to calm down, in the end i was forced to go back to my parents after social services said my parents were willing to take me back so i wasnt 'homeless'
anyway my advice is probably leave. i no what you gave up because i did the same but its not working, trust me, dont leave it until he turns to cheating or worse, abusive. Just put this down to life experience. i didnt want to let go either, i no how you feel. One thing different youve built a life there, which i never did, maybe go to your local housing aid, hostel, etc ask the council for advice, If you want to stay in the area. lodge with someone and class your self as homeless, then the council/homeless shelters should help you. if not, talk to family/friends and go back to your home town.
you cant stay in a r/ship purely because you have given everything or you have nowhere else to go, trust me, iv been there!
good luck and pm me and let me know what you decide x
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 You need to talk to him. Have a long think about your future and what you want out of life. You moved your life to be with him, that is a huge deal and it is something that can take a while to adjust to. If there is anything you miss about being at home, well then deep down you are going to blame him for making you move there. Maybe it was a bit to soon to move in with him and now you resent him for it. There could be a number of reasons. But spending every moment off every day together is not healthy and off course that is going to mean that the both of you are going to argue. If we spend our entire time with one person it becomes unhealthy and it makes us argue with them and the smallest of things annoy us.
I think you need a break away to clear your head and decide what you want in life. There is no point staying with him because you feel you have no where else to go or nobody else to turn to. Am sure your family would help if they knew you where in trouble? no? If not well maybe try and save to rent a room somewhere. At the end of the day if you stay because you feel you need to, you are just going to end up hating him.
Why not head home for a couple of weeks to clear your head. Stay with a member of family. Tell him you need some time to clear your head and think. Tell him you need space and not to contact you. Do not contact him either, just use the time to ask yourself is being apart from him really what you want.
...............................
|
