A
female
age
36-40,
*tacc2
writes:I need advice, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years to the day. He is an awesome person and he treats me like a queen, however I have never felt a strong chemistry with him, especially in the bedroom. Recently I met someone with whom I have a great deal of physical and mental chemistry. I have been struggling over what to do for some time now. Yesterday my boyfriend and I had a long discussion and I told him I wanted to take a break. Im now left wondering if I did the right thing. Can you stay in a relationship if there is no sexual chemistry whatsoever..AND..by telling him I want to take a break am i just prolonging the inevitable? I LOVE him but Im not IN LOVE with him? Has anyone ever been in this situation before? Please help! thank you!!
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female
reader, LoonyLunagirl +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I had this exact problem last year. I dated a guy for a year and he absolutely adored me. I didn't feel the same at all. Friends-wise, we would be perfect. Every time I told him I loved him, it didn't feel right. I broke up with him when I finally asked myself what was keeping us together...and I couldn't come up with an answer. It's been about six months and guess what? I'm dating his best friend. I absolutely love him and he loves me back. My ex doesn't even mind. He simply got over me. I got a happy ending. I think you can, too.My advice to you is this: go with the guy you have the chemistry with. You'd be suprised where you find love. I was.Much love,MB
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): I have been on the other end of this type of a relationship, and its very painful. You can't force yourself to feel something for someone, you either DO..or you DON'T.And if you don't then you probably never will..and if you've been together 3 years, I'd say that was plenty of time for something to sizzle and burst into flames. Point blank, let him go. Keeping on with this relationship will only hurt him more and more as time goes on. And yes, I believe you can love someone, but not be in love with them. I had this type of thing with my room mate. I loved him, and he was very very kind to me, but he never returned my feelings, he loved me as a sister. It hurt really really badly, but I had to accept it. In the end, he did me a big favor because we were able to stay very close friends and I found my husband where everything "clicked" for both of us. I know you are trying to kind, but sweetie, you really aren't doing either of you a favor. Let him down easily, but I think you should break it off as girlfriend/boyfriend. It isn't fair to either of you.
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