A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a good mate at work, we get on at work, we chat a lot and have a good laugh and that. When I ask him does he want to go clubbing with me to meet birds and have a drink he is like Yeah we should and talk about places to go.On facebook he is different, when I ask him and he goes Yeah Whatever mate, and I say what do you mean by whatever as to me whatever means I don't care and he says "I'm easy bruv whatever init go with the flow" which I have no idea what it means. As I think he does not want to know me outside work and now it's driving me crazy.So does he feel more comfortable on facebook to say like I don't care and he does not want to do it as this is just confusing as it sounds like on facebook it's I don't care and face to face it's like yeah.I also said do you think we'll still be mates in five years after we leave our work and he said Yeah why Not. What does he mean by why not? Does it mean No.Sorry but this is bugging me and confusing me and just need advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): Pure pressure a lot of friends feel like there trapped and have to tell there friends what they want to here. When the person isn't in front of them like with facebook its eassyer to say no to facebook instead of the person. "Yeah why not" is an expression, and it means I don't see why we couldn't be friend in the future, and do you see some reason for our friendship to end. He most likely isn't a big drinker or he had an alcohol problem,or he isn't a social person in public. Ask him if he would like to go and have coffee with you instead. He may be more comfortable to there instead, or an action movie, just for laughs. With my friends I hang out at there houses once and a while, you could invite him over with some other friends for a movie or football game, either to watch or to do for fun.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (21 March 2009):
It may be the other way around -- on Facebook your conversations are there for the whole world to see. He may feel uncomfortable about committing to plans openly on that forum. No offense but this guy does sound kind of flaky and insecure. You may be a "situational friend" - I mean he has to see you at work so he might as well get along with you. Actions speak louder than words, so if you have proposed going out and he says "yeah" but then never follows up or is flaky when you say a specific date and time, then his actions are saying "no I'm not interested". Let it go. Give him some space and spend time with people who are actually interested in spending time with you. You tried. His turn.
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