A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello cupids, this is not a love question. More of a friendship/acquaintanceship question.I have worked at my workplace for 5 years now and there has been a Manager there that I have always respected, but we have never had, what you would call a pleasant conversation. A few times we have had a few cross words, where I became resentful and said some horrid things about her, which may have got back to her, but I have grown up since then.We have spoken about work but that's been about it. In the summer I had to work with her closely for a couple of days and although she treated me nice enough I still couldn't feel as though we had known each other for so long. We were almost strangers.I know it is not a requirement to be close to Managers, they are there to tell you what to do or not as the case may be. But I have seen others talking to her with no trouble and I often wonder why I cannot do the same.Then a few weeks after working with her, I needed to make a complaint, and the top manager I wanted to speak to, sort of pretended I wasn't there, so my only option was to talk to this manager and she was wonderful to talk to. Then I sort of have this complex where I think to myself, it was a one off she doesn't really want me speaking to her all the time, and so ever since I have either been avoiding her when I can and only talking to her when I need to.But I realise I cannot keep doing this. Nowadays we just stand and stare at each other, when we are walking toward each other, which is strange to all those who see it. Some of my fellow workers have said they find it odd seeing us just sort of having a stand off, and say they think we are about to duel or something. My boyfriend says he reckons what is really happening is, I want to talk to her, and she wants to talk to me, but we don't know how to make the first move. So we just sort of stand there like a pair of dopes. Have you any advice for me on how to make the first move into talking to her again. I know the simplest thing to do is to just smile and say hello, but I am rather shy, so even doing that, seems like a big step. But it has to be made.Hope you can help me out, I cannot continue in this way for another 5 years. For one thing she is due to retire soon and another, it is becoming a really silly situation. Thanks x
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