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The widower I'm dating talks of his dead wife all the time

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2015)
A female United States age 51-59, *Marie writes:

Dating a widow. I have been in a relationship with a wiodow for some time now. He is sweet and kind person, and we get along well. He talks about his dead wife and their life together all the time. Yesterday I hadn't seen him for 4 days, we went out to dinner and within the first 10 minutes told stories mentioning her 4 times. This is so irritating! And I feel bad for being irritated! I've never complained, as that seems that would be hurtful. I feel like to be with this man, maybe marry him I have to be with her too. And I am not sure I want to! And there, that makes me feel bad too. Is it worth it? Will I get over this feeling?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2015):

I would find that trying, too! I used to have a boyfriend who would constantly bring up past girlfriends all the time. Didn't matter if they were dead or alive, it was up for discussion! I finally told him that I felt like I was just along for the ride, and he really wanted to spend all his time living in the past. He finally got the picture. So I know how you feel. Don't know what to say to say to him, except letting him know how it makes you feel when he does it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHis wife was a HUGE part of his life and I would guess he still misses her terribly.

I would however bring it up, because it annoys you. I would tell him, I know you loved you wife and that she was a big part of your life, but I really wish she wasn't constantly present on our dated it makes me feel like the 3rd wheel.

I think MANY people who have lost a loved one sometimes forget JUST how much they talk about them. Because it makes them feel like the person is still there in some capacity.

I'm not saying he should NEVER ever mention her, but... 4 stories in 10 minutes? That would drive me up that wall.

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