A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title*I dated this girl for about a month, before that we were good friends for a while as we were in the same class at school. Everything in our relationship was awesome for the first few weeks and I really thought that things could one day become serious between us. Three weeks into our relationship, she changed drastically from one Friday night to the next Monday morning. For over two weeks she treated me like crap by purposefully ignoring me. And by that I mean she would try and say absolutely nothing to me in school/class, acted like I was bothering her when I tried to talk to her, never returned calls and texts, and lied to me that she was busy when I asked her to go out. And so she finally called me up and told me that because she saw herself as an "independent person" she didn't want to continue our relationship, but hey, we could still be "friends".The break up hurt me a lot, but I didn't think much of anything of her "independent person declaration", I just thought she didn't like me much and I wanted to still be friends with her, a friend, not an f buddy. For over a month we didn't say a single word to each other, and I didn't see her in school much because of holiday breaks. I know I didn't either, but she never bothered even saying hello to me or asking how I was. When we did have class, she didn't even look at me.I then found out what she meant by her "independent person" thing through a mutual friend. She hooked up (f'ed)with some guy friend on his spring break that weekend and conjured up being all "independent" as an excuse without actually telling me that she cheated. She then went on to treat me like crap so that I would break up with her and she wouldn't feel guilty.After hearing all this, I didn't want anything to do with her. So in class one day soon after, I purposefully sat far away from her. Well apparently she was ready to be "friends", had intentions of us going to the prom together, and got incredibly pissed off at me and has been since. I felt bad a few days after and apologized for it in a message and told her I thought she was a great person and that I would like to be friends. She never responded (again, I found out that she didn't reply because she already made plans to go to the prom, not that I wanted to go with her), we graduated, and we haven't communicated in almost a year.Was I in the wrong? I still feel bad for not sitting down next to her that day, but I was just so upset at her for cheating on me and treating me like crap. Should I try contacting her again even though she isn't sorry for cheating on me and treating me that way? Thank you so much to anyone who can help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): to be honest it just sounds like a teenage girl who is upset & doesn't want to face you because she still has feelings for you.
A
female
reader, daisy_doll  +, writes (17 April 2010):
Honestly, you deserve better. Although you behaved rather hurtfully, the fact that she cheated and was not honest with you about it, showed that she did not care about you as much as you did her from the start. If you feel strongly enough, I would say that pursuing a friendship might be successful, but friends is as far as it would go.
Truthfully though, I think it is time to let go. The past is in the past, and by not letting go of the past, you won't be able to grab hold to anything new and more wonderful in the future.
Best luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): Nope, you were not in the wrong. Her behavior was very childish and disrespectful. She cheated, she manipulated you in order to not be the bad guy in the relationship. She was just looking for fun and thinking of herself and not concerned with other peoples feelings and how her actions affect them. Sweetie this was a while ago, you just need to let it go. You did the right thing and now the past is the past. You deserve better friends and girlfriends. Go on and enjoy life and find people who will actually treat you right.
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