A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I really need some help please guys...I recently came out of a 3 1/2 year relationship, which ended 6 months ago. Since then, I've been feeling really down and found it hard to go out and talk to guys. I've been slowly feeling better, keeping myself busy and seeing friends a lot etc.A couple of weeks ago I met a guy through a friend, and we really hit it off. He got my number and we exchanged a few quite flirty text messages, but nothing serious. He was away for a week, and then I was away for a few days, but we finally met up a couple of days ago for a drink. It went fairly well, and he came back to mine and stayed over but nothing happened. Thing is, he is now referring to me as his girlfriend, and I'm a bit scared about that label and all that comes with it. I definitely don't want to be used for just sex, but at the same time I am only here until my contract runs out in a couple of months, so I know it won't be anything serious...But then the thought of sleeping with someone else when I've only ever slept with my ex really scares me...Some of my friends are telling me to go for it, that it'll help me get over my ex and stuff, but others say there is no point as it can't go anywhere. Any advice would be really appreciated...I'm so confused and don't want to be used :-s Please help!
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female
reader, Isabella1974 +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Hello, its always hard when you break up from a long term relationship, but at least you are keeping yourself busy and going out with friends.
Darling just do want you feel is right for you to do, you will know what to do when the time comes, its alright for people to be telling you what to do as generally they mean well, but you decided if and when you are ready.
Be upfront with this guy and tell him that you are only here for 2 months so there will be no surprises when you do leave. You have not mentioned where you are going but sometimes long distance relations can work, depends on circumstances and so on. Just live for today sweety, do worry to much and try to enjoy this and be happy. xx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 April 2008):
If this guy wanted to use you, he wouldn't still be here and calling you his girlfriend. He would have realised that first night he wasn't getting any sex and moved on.
Everyone has different morals. So only you can decide what is alright for you. If you only want to have sex in a long term committed relationship, then that is fine, but you need to tell this guy that you are only here for 2 months and although you want to be friends with him, nothing more can happen. You can't string him on or he will get hurt.
If you decide that a 2 month fling is romantic and he is comfortable with that too, then go for it. You can work up to sex if you explain it to him. It doesn't just have to happen all at once.
As long as you are honest with him about you leaving and ending it in 2 months, you will be ok either way.
You need to talk to him soon though before he really falls for you.
Good Luck!! xx
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