A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Around four months ago I found out my now ex boyfriend was sleeping with my best friend, and soon after she announced she was pregnant. However, although I believe it is his baby, she has told me herself that she 'thinks' the baby is his, but she's not sure as the dates don't add up and she hasn't seen him for months. What worries me about this situation, is that me and the boyfriend at the time often took risks regarding protection and were often astonished to find out I wasn't pregnant. And what worries me is that if it is his baby, then how have I not become pregnant yet? The thought of infertility scares me as I'm desperate to have children when I'm older, and I will feel defeated by her for the millionth time if it turns out I can't. Do you think I have a right to worry? Should I go see a doctor?I'm finding it hard to cope after hearing this news. I'm only 17 but I've had four years of counselling ever since I was sexually assaulted at the age of 13. The friend my boyfriend of one year slept with was the person who stuck by me the whole time and I feel utterly betrayed and empty now I don't have either of them. How can I get over this? I feel lost.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): The only thing to do about your fertility now is to make sure you have no STDs. Don't smoke.
Pure and simple, you got lucky and did not get pregnant. You don't need to worry about your fertility.
You deserve respect and your friend and ex have not given you any respect. This is not your fault. Find yourself some different friends. Have enough respect for yourself to use protection EVERY time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): I am so sorry that this has all had to happen to you though, the betrayal on top of what has happened in your past.
You shouldn't worry about being infertile though so please put that thought to rest. The times you and your bf risked it and didn't use a condom most likely was the time in your monthly cycle that you were not ovulating(which is when the egg is ready and waiting for the sperm!).
It is so specific the times of the month you can get pregnant and the chances are your friend risked it at that time!
I don't say this to be horrible but your bf had unprotected sex with at least you and your friend so for your safety you should get and have an STI check. Some Sexually Transmitted Infections have absolutely no symptoms at all so you wouldn't know if you had one and if left they can make you infertile! So to be sure you can have children in the future go get checked out-if you don't want to see your family doctor you can go to a family planning clinic and get tested.
If you are not still having counselling at the moment I think you should go back to it, as it would do you good to talk over this situation in your life with someone who knows all about what happened in your past. That way they can support you through this.
It must be so horrible to be btrayed by your best friend with your boyfriend but now it has happened the only way now is forward. Nothing can be changed so as hard as it is-try to take each day at a time and move on from this time in your life.
You can always post on here time and time again if you can't talk to anyone close to you!
Best of Luck X
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 October 2010):
 I will answer part of one your question. Are you infertile? No, there's no proof of that. It's easy to make a baby, and at the same time it can be very difficult and you could need to try for years. It's a hit or miss thing really. It can take years, or it can take that one time. Your friend was unlucky and got pregnant at first shot of being uncareful. You were lucky, you didn't get pregnant. Be HAPPY about it, be HAPPY you are not a teenager with a baby on the way.
And when you are ready, and the time is right, you can start trying for a baby. And you will get one too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): It takes fertile couples up to a year to get pregnent. Doctors won't test your fertility unless you have been trying unsuccessfully for a year.
With the pregnant friend, they had sex at the time when she was ovulating and most fertile.
You shouldn't be taking risks with contraception, it sounds like you were trying to get pregnant. Is a baby something you could cope with at 17?
Find some new friends, these people didn't care about you if they ended up doing something horrible like that. To get over it you have to accept what they have done and mover on in your life. These people are not worth getting yourself lost and sad about!
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