A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 years old and I am pretty sure I could live without sex. I am a bit concerned as to whether it is normal that I don't want to have sex, or do anything sexual pretty much. I've had a very good upbringing, liberal parents and I'm studying well at university now, working part time and volunteering. I get along well with pretty much anyone.I don't think I could ever trust anyone enough to have sex with them (I've never had sex before, but I have seen and touched a penis). It's not that I am embarrassed about my body either, although the concept of a penis entering me is really daunting.Thinking about actually having to have sex actually scares me so much I want to cry. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I enjoy pleasuring myself, but the thought of someone else making me feel that was makes me sure I don't want to have sex. Is this a normal feeling, am I just going through a phase? Or is it that I am simply a little bit strange? I really would like to know what you think. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Be thankful that sex isn't distracting you from meeting goals and securing a future for yourself. Any man will be thrilled to have you in the future if you are still a virgin....just read here about retroactive jealousy and you'll see what I mean.Guys your age are really immature, so you may not fall in love for a few more years, however, when the right guy comes along....you'll want sex with him ;) Stay strong and keep going on the path you started on!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 I think you're okay! You may be focusing on the wrong things regarding sex, and when you speak it out clinically, of course it doesn't sound pleasant to think of some guy pushing his penis inside you with bodily fluids and grunting and shoving. Hell, giving birth sounds even more terrifying if you think about it with that mindset too!When you get to the point where you're in a position to have sex, you won't be thinking along the same lines you are now. If you're with someone, there will be new feelings, sensations, and emotions coursing through your body and mind. Every ounce of your being will want to get as close to him as possible. Every kiss will be incredible, and your hands on each other will strip you of rational control. Sensations in the pit of your stomach and elsewhere will be overwhelming and intoxicating. Far from being afraid, having sex will be the one place in the world you'll want to be. When it happens, it will feel natural. Maybe awkward and new at first, and for a woman, there might be discomfort on the first go, but that fades fast.You know how to pleasure yourself, and that's great! But it's different when you are with someone you love. An orgasm with a partner is one of the most intense pleasures imaginable. It feels absolutely natural. Sex will be as much of a natural thing to you as eating, drinking, or breathing, when you learn to let go and be truly intimate in all ways with someone.Think of the most incredible thing in life you've done...something that's given you the most pleasure. Doesn't have to be sexual. It could be your greatest hobby or achievement. It could be the most incredible movie you've ever seen, or if you're athletic, the feeling of winning a championship. Now, imagine whatever memory it is that you're thinking about that was so incredibly amazing. What if someone you knew told you that doing that thing scared the living crap out of them. Your response would be "Oh my god! What are you afraid of? I've never felt so alive when I've done this!" You'd do everything you could to explain to your friend about the sheer joy of doing this thing. That's exactly what it's like with good sex.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 March 2011):
 You are just fine and dandy, not ready to sex yet, but just fine and dandy. You'll change your viewpoint on sex when you meet the right guy. Relax sweetheart.
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