A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HI. I hope someone can help somehow. I have been in a relationship for over 3 years and I split up with him 3 times. We r back together, we have similar interests, but there is something missing. The fire, the spark. The other problem is that I dont feel myself most of the time. He used to b horrible to me and that put my confidence to zero, he was snappy with me, telling me off, saying unrealistic things and then argue about them, etc) but he has changed. I do love him, I just dont know if I am in love with him.I respect him for, i adore him, he makes me laugh most of the time, but I miss the butterflies in my stomach, even making love is so robotic although we do try different things, but there is no emotion in it. He loves me I know, but the way he show it makes me leave empty. He doesnt ever tell me I am beautiful, he doesnt stroke my hair in bed or just silly things like this. They are missing. there is a guy who I met 4 years ago. When I split up with my current boyfriend for the 1st time, i slept with the other guy after, while I was single. It was amazing, but somehow i got back together with him again. I know the other guy loves me sooo much and his dream is really to b with me, even after 4 years of being away from me (althoough we met a few times). When we met, i was myself, i didnt have to alter my behaviour to suit him, not like what I do now with my bf. Please help, should I leave him, regardless of this other guy or what should I do? I am scared of making the wrong decision and lose my bf forever.
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confidence, got back together, spark, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers and honesty. I agree deep down and hopefully I will write soon that : YEAH, I DID IT, I AM FREE:)
Thanks guys.
A
male
reader, II_Seraphim_II  +, writes (31 January 2011):
Just move on. If the spark is gone, you are just wasting both his and your time. I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes you gotta cut off the diseased limb if its not good anymore. Staying together is just prolonging the inevitable. And besides, you said the other guy treats you better and truly cares for you... I think its worth the risk for a chance at happiness.
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A
female
reader, TamyKarcz  +, writes (31 January 2011):
 Well deary.. that's my honest opinion.. if the spark isn't there, it's time to move on. Not saying that in a arrogant way, it's just the way i see things.
And even you have mentioned that the other guy is much more better for your personality, cause you don't have to dissimulate who you actually are!
Plus, taking in consideration that the current guy has treated you badly in the past i don't really see a future....
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