A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been dating about three or four months now. He loves me, he's told me so and he's moving very very fast, even talking about the future - marriage, moving in together, having babies, etc...He's a very nice, sweet, considerate guy, but I no longer feel an attraction to him. I don't know what to do, he's got all the qualities I thought I'd ever want in my 'dream guy' and my girlfriends tell me how lucky I am to have him, but I just don't feel that attraction, the connection, anymore. Does that mean it was just lust and I should break it off and move on, or should I wait a bit longer and see if my feelings change? I don't know what I should do.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Dear Anom,
From what i see in your post you seem unsure about your feelings for now. If you are contemplating they might change.
What i can advise you to do for now is take some time off the relationship to think. Perhaps u need space, maybe he is going too fast or the attraction is gone. You can find which is the right one if allow yourself some time.You can go on a trip alone to see friends, relatives. Take all the time u need.
Goodluck dear
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): I was in a similar situation myself. I was w/ my bf for 4 yrs. The first couple yrs were great, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Then, around the third yr I started to have doubts about our relationship and if he was the right guy for me. Then probably about 6 months before we broke up I just didn't feel the connection anymore either. I no longer felt a spark and I completely lost my sex drive too. I kept waiting and waiting for things to just change one day and be back to how they were. But, that day never came for me. I spent a whole yr just thinking. And I got nowhere. We have only been broken up for two weeks and I am glad w/ the decision that I made. Since you have not been dating too long I think you could hold out a little longer to see if anything sparks. But, if you feel the same in two weeks as you do now, I would say that it is time for you to leave him. Then see how you are when you are w/out him. I just wish someone had been there when I was in your situation to tell me to break it off. But, instead I sat there for a whole nother yr. Best of luck to you.
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