A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't help myself! My on-again-off-again boyfriend is smart, funny, and handsome. But he also smokes and drinks a LOT and rarely has time for me because he's a "writer". Every time I want to do something he has to stay home working on his stupid novel. He won't even let me read it but regularly invites other people *including other women* over to MY PLACE to read his manuscripts. Then he spends hours just moping or reading. He doesn't watch TV and won't buy me stuff because he's broke. But then if I offer to drive him places (yeah, he doesn't even have a CAR) he says no. I get fed up and we end up having HUGE fights but the makeup sex after is soooooo good. I have never had such a good lover! With just a touch he can make me come. I keep telling myself to ditch his unemployed ass and get a REAL man but find it hard to do it! What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): That's pretty good if he can make you come at just a touch. Believe you me, there are many desperate housewives who would kill for that!
I agree, though, his "writing" seems like a dreamy obsession. It's OK as a side hobby, but definitely not practical. Have you suggested he find real work? Also, put your foot down with the other women. Maybe they're "coming" for other reasons, if you catch my drift.
A
male
reader, prisoner6  +, writes (29 November 2009):
It depends how you define a real man! Your boyfriend seems to be a dreamer obsessed with his "writing" which he doesn't seem much good at anyway, otherwise he wouldn't be broke. Or is he successful and doesn't tell you? Either way he sounds an absolutely miserable wretch and insensitive person the way you describe him, and makes no effort in taking your feelings into consideration.I think you're addicted to the adrenaline rush of the confrontations and the sexual satisfaction which results. However, if you have any respect for yourself, move on. After all, he won't be lonely with all these women coming to view his manuscripts!! Does he ever ask if it's OK for them to visit?? I'm sure there are many "Real men" out there who will not only be good lovers, but also treat you as a human being and actually care and love you in all ways. And then sex will be even better. These men may not have "glamorous" careers, but they'll be hard working. Remember, life is too short to be unhappy like this. You are only young with your life ahead of you. As you say better than I could, "ditch his unemployed ass!"I'm not lecturing, just hopefully given some sensible advice. All the best to you and be happy in love!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): god i cant believe that you are being so self-righteous is this the first time that you are having a boyfriend? come on how do you expect anything from this guy when it seems that he depends only on you and you let him.you have to be true to yourself sex should not be the only reason you are staying with this guy,what other qualities does he have that can make you not leave him.do yourself a favour give yourself a break from this guy and try having a new relationship see where it will take you because you never know you might find a guy who is both a gentleman and great with sex
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Oh ? you are saying something pertaining to me. It is when you say about great sex, even his touch do sex magic!!!! I am also writer, and I know the psychology of writer. Even in great anger against him, you do justice about his greatest achievement. Yes, this is the thing only writer and thinker do possess. Aristotle had wrote this specifically, that only philosopher enjoy real pleasure of life, and Russel shown his disagreement, but I got confirmation from non-philosopher, that Aristotle was right in his saying!!!Let me advice you with my confidence...relate again with this writer...He must be honest, and really he is. You can share everything with such person, provided you should be able enter into his mind, which ability you have proved!What more this life want?
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