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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there. I split up with my ex boyfriend 18 months ago. He didn't want to break up because he loved me. I was honest that I didn't feel the same, but I care for him a lot as he is a kind, good and genuine person.We have tried being friends since. However, its a confusing situation. We're both single.. I want things to work out *so much* but my feelings don't match his. Is it possible to have feelings you don't want to possess?? At times I don't even like him, and I feel so, so guilty about this.I know its unhealthy, but recently we began to sleep together again. Being gay, I grew up in a fairly close minded community.. I was cut off and hence didn't make too many friends. Therefore I tend to rely upon my ex to go out socially.I know the sensible thing to do would be to have a 'clean break', but I really don't want to hurt him. I can't imagine not having him in my life.THANKS for your time
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (25 November 2006):
 Trust me a clean break is the best thing. My father described it to me like this: When you break a bone, you go to the docter and you get it set and it heals normally. If you leave that break messy it becomes infected and it never mends properly, so you end up with more of a mess if you had let it set and heal properly. The moral is if you have a clean break it can hurt a while and heal properly but if you let it linger it can be more of a nuisance and become messy. It hurts now but it is for the best. Honestly, you are being selfish as you are wanting him around for your benefit and not your own. Let him go now and let him hurt and get over it. Loving someone also means knowing when to let them go, not for your happiness but for your theirs.
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