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female
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anonymous
writes: My partner had an affair about 2 years ago. Even when she gave me all the letters my partner had written to her he still denied it saying that she had written them to get him into trouble and used to get really annoyed if I questioned him. Even now he won't sleep with me his excuse is that now he is older (only 42) he 'wasn't the man he used to be'. This is killing me because all I can think of is that she was obviously much better than me. His so called friend has even said that my partner admitted that to him. I still love him and we have a child together but how can I ever get over it?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (30 January 2006):
 The main person in all this is your child. You first and foremost need to protect them from any fights or bad feelings, you'd be suprised what even very young children absorb.
This guy is playing you for a fool and this other woman appears to have ulterior motives in showing you the letters. Why is she so obssessed with you knowing about this *affair*? Does she still want him.
Do you still have the letters? If so and you chose to believe that she wrote them as your partner says to *get him into trouble* then you can take them to the police and tell them this woman is harrassing you. After all he should have no problem with that if he is telling the whole truth now should he?
As for the not sleeping with you thing, don't take that on board as being your problem. He may be feeling guilty and unable to *perform* or there could be a myriad of other reason. This is not your problem it is his so don't use it as a stick to beat yourself with.
It sounds like this guy is a liar and a cheat. You would (in my opinion) be better off without him. But you have to make your own decisions, but please make sure that your decision is based on fact and you are not deluding yourself.
Good luck x.
A
female
reader, the_bettyboop_4you +, writes (30 January 2006):
 I personally think that you should confront him with her and give him an ultimatum, because you cant continue with this problem and the fact that he doesnt want to sleep with you is giving you the answer right there.He has to make a desicion or you have to make it for him. Your child should be first and that environment is not good for him, you will be surprised how much kids pick up from the situation around them,good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, alwaysbrokenhearted_20056 +, writes (29 January 2006):
 well obviously this guy has been cheating on you. what man who would want to keep both women admit to cheating. You and the " other women" should confront him together. Show him that you know what is going on and you dont accept that.
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