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anonymous
writes: I compete with my father and elder brother to prove my worth to them. Is it right? I want some praise and recognition for who I am in my family but somehow I always get ignored and get taken for granted. So I am trying to do extraordinary things to get their attention and even compete with them to show that I am not so fragile as they think me to be. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (27 September 2005):
 Why do they think you are fragile? And I wonder what extraordinary things you have been trying to accomplish to get their attention.
Why do you feel it necessary to prove your worth to them? I should think you already know that it is far more important that you consider yourself worthy and capable but I understand that if they did too, it would confirm it to you.
Why not ask them for some recognition? I know that wouldn't be exactly easy but how about sitting down, perhaps with your Dad, and explaining how you really feel.
Being taken for granted often means that you are doing things constantly and that is why people are not respecting anymore what you are doing; they come to expect you to do it.
The easy answer to this is to say stop doing whatever it is that they all take you for granted for doing. However, that is often easier said than done.
Try to live your life for you and not for them. Think of all the things you would like to achieve and set about accomplishing them; for you and only you.
Express how you feel to them but if they continue to ignore you then you really have no choice but to go your own way and do what you want to do.
It will be their loss in the end if they miss out on their youngest son/brother achieving many things in life and proving his worth to himself and others capable of seeing it.
Good luck.
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