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male
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anonymous
writes: My wife of eleven years recently told me she had more sexual partners than she first said. Way back, the number was four.We were having an argument one night and it came out that she had slept with someone else. I was convinced it was while she was with me. She assured me it wasn't. I said "why would you lie about it then?""To keep the numbers down" she said.I couldn't believe this. I was gutted. The more I thought about it the more I believed she wouldn't just hide one. Three months later she admitted there was another.Please tell me what I should do, as I am cracking up. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I see this is an old question, but with a new answer today.Well, Your wives past is your business, and then it's up to you to decide to marry her or not, knowing that, if you do, you can't hold her past against her. In this case, since she lied about her past, you have to start to question the whole foundation upon which you marriage was formed, not how many partners, but truth and forthcoming from your spouse. She might be embarrassed and think she is a slut for having too many sex partners, and that's why she lied, that doesn't make it right, she still deceived you, and now you are hurting. I think if the difference is she really slept with 6 or 7 guys, and lied to sound better, then since you already have 11 years into the marriage, keep with it. If the number is really like 20 or 30 or more, then dump the slut and move on.As for the answerer today, Only you can really determine if you trust and believe your wife that she only had 2 sex partners before you. Just because she hung out with sluts doesn't automatically make her one. It does allow you to question her a little more, but that's it. My wife has only been with me and never anyone else, but her one friend was totally a slut. I could name at least 20 guys she blew, and at least 10 she had sex with (and this is by age 18). My wife was not the least bit like her, and as soon as we got engaged she terminated this friendship and said, "I am not even sure why I was being friends with that slut, maybe because she was popular with the guys", I'm like duh. Maybe this is your wives case, these other girls hung around with lots of guys and your wife liked the attention, doesn't necessarily mean she 'gave' them attention. Good Luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I am on the same boat as you. It's crazy. My wife insists that she has only been with 2 people and I am totally OK with it but as I am getting to know her friends, I hear stories of all of them sucking c**k in the parking lot, taking it from every guy on the block and so on. This really makes me think how could she be the only saint in the group. To be honest it does not bother me if she tells me that she has been with 10 guys and even if I hear all the details. The feeling that I am being lied to while I know the high probability of that being the case is killing me. Any advice? What can I do for her to really come clean and tell me how many people she has been with. I have asked several times but she swears that it's only the 2 guys she has said before!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Dont let yourself be fucked. If she can take you for a ride, so can you. she had fun and then conveniently lied to you. I knew of a girl who had slept with more than 50 guys in 4 years at school, but pretended as though she had just three partners. I fucked here and showed her door lateron. Remember, more partners + lies = door!
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A
female
reader, amandairene +, writes (18 February 2006):
Yes, she's in a no win situation. If she told you the truth you would be shattered, and if you found out you would be shattered. I guess you need to realise whatever happened before you two met is irrelevant. Not everyone is squeaky clean. So let it go, but I think you seriously need to sit down and ask her point blank if she has slept with anyone while you have been together, then take it from there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): every girl lies, can you honestly say that if she had told the truth and the number was quite high you wouldnt have had doubts about her. girls do not wana be perceived as slags so they always lie. as the rule goes when you ask a girl how many people she has slept with add 3 if you ask a bloke subtract 3.
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